Secretaries (Office) Comic Strips - Page 62

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View 611 - 620 results for secretaries (office) comic strips. Discover the best "Secretaries (Office)" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags career, employees, office, office workers, training, trick, sabatoge

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Boss: Wally will train you for your new job. You'll need to figure out how much of what he says is real training and how much is career sabotage. Man: Career sabotage? Boss: Employees don't like competition. Only the top 20% get bonuses. They'll do what they can to keep you out of that group. Man: I assume you're exaggerating. Boss: You'll see. Wally: Has anyone told you about no-pants Fridays?

Blockchain Versus Databases

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Blockchain Versus Databases  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, computers, office workers, questions

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Dilbert: And we can put the customer data on the blockchain. Alice: Why not use an immutable database instead? Dilbert: Which way should we go? Boss: Are either of them my favorite color?

Being More Nimble

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Being More Nimble - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, decision, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm

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Boss: We need to be more innovative and more nimble. That's why I created a task force to consider forming a project team to write a white paper on how to start. Dilbert: Maybe they can fix you first. Boss: You can't fix perfect.

Sending Email At Night

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Sending Email At Night - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags email, employees, office, office workers, sarcasm

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Asok: I keep working hard, but no one notices. Wally: That's why I send out department-wide emails at around midnight every night. Asok: I didn't know you work at home every night. Wally: Do I need to speak slower here?

Exclamation Mark

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Exclamation Mark - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, email, managers & supervisors, office workers, pretend, sarcasm

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Boss: Why did you send me a sarcastic email response? Dilbert: I didn't. Boss: Then how do you explain this exclamation mark? Dilbert: I was pretending to be interested in what you said. Boss: Oh, okay. I like that.

Workplace Bully

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Workplace Bully - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, bully, managers & supervisors, office workers, threat, work

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Boss: Cheryl, the other employees are complaining that you're a workplace bully. Cheryl: Hand over your wallet or else I'll tell your boss you tried to give me a shoulder rub. Carol: Did you talk to her? Boss: Don't ever ask me to do anything for your again.

Horse Blinders

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Horse Blinders - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags communication, employees, office, office workers, work

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Dilbert: I added horse blinders to my noise-cancellation headphones. You tried to ruin my productivity by moving to an open office plan, but I have thwarted your evil ambitions. Boss: Experts say the open plan is better for communication. Dilbert: Are you talking? I can't tell.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags communication, frustrated, office, office workers, talking

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Dilbert: Did Alice talk to you about the cost estimates? Ted: Mumble mumble. Dilbert: I can't hear you. Ted: Mumble mumble!!! Dilbert: Now you're just mumbling louder. Ted: Mumble mumble. Dilbert: Maybe you could turn toward me when you mumble and I can try to read your lips. Ted: Mumble mumble. Dilbert: I'm getting something about grapes, windshields, asthma, and blockchain. Ted: I didn't say any of those things. Dilbert: Okay. I understood that sentence. Now answer my question the same way. Ted: Mumble mumble.

Carol Raises Money For School

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Carol Raises Money For School  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags family & parenting, guilt, office, office workers, sales, sarcasm, school

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Carol: I'm selling chocolate bars to raise funds for my kid's school. Dilbert: I'm childless, so I already subsidize your kid's education. Carol: I was hoping it would feel too awkward for you to say no. Dilbert: By my calculations, you owe me money.

Selling Chocolate For School

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Selling Chocolate For School - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags family & parenting, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, sales, school, capitalism

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Carol: I'm selling chocolate bars to raise money for my kid's school. Boss: That sounds like communism. I'm out. Carol: I'll give you a fake receipt so you can expense it. Boss: Now it sounds like capitalism. I'm in.