Dogbert Comic Strips - Page 62
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1000 Results for Dogbert
View 611 - 620 results for dogbert comic strips. Discover the best "Dogbert" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday July 27,
2007
Tags Dogbert, moving compnay, threats, money, one he guy, load truck, sandwhich, Food, exstortion, couch, sweat
Transcript
The Boss: "I hired the Dogbert Moving Company to handle your relocation." "It saves us money because they only send one huge guy." "After you load your couch on the truck, make me another sandwich, or, again, I'll kill you."
Tuesday July 10,
2007
Tags fired, job eliminated, outsourced, comapny, need job, hired, comes back, old job
Transcript
The Boss: "Ted, I'm going to eliminate your function and outsource it to the Dogbert Outsourcing Company." Ted: "I need a job." Dogbert: "You're hired." Ted: "I'M BA-A-ACK!"
Sunday July 08,
2007
Tags management consulatant, consulting firm, worthless, managing, consulting, hired
Transcript
Dogbert: "You should hire me as your management consultant." Man: "We're a management consulting firm. We don't need a management consultant to consult us." Dogbert: "Are you saying that management consulting is worthless?" Man: "No, I'm saying we already know everything about management consulting." Dogbert: "How can you be so sure I can't help you when you don't know what my advice will be?" Man: "Okay, you're hired. What's your advice?" Dogbert: "Beats me. I'll have to ask my management consultant."
Wednesday July 04,
2007
Tags barbecue, freinds, no freinds, make freinds, jogger, desparte, meat, social skills, no social skills, random, Advice
Transcript
Dilbert: Maybe I should invite some friends over for a barbecue. Dogbert: "You don't have any friends." Dilbert: "Good point. Maybe I should make some friends first." Dogbert: "Exactly." Dogbert:"Do you like meat?"
Saturday June 30,
2007
Tags career counselor, flower arranging, billionaire, work hard, defeat purpose, no work, doesn't want to work
Transcript
Dogbert, career counselor "What would you like to do with your degree in...flower arranging?" "I'd like to be a billionaire." "Are you willing to work hard?" "That would sort of defeat the purpose."
Friday June 29,
2007
Tags career counselor, no marketable talent, keep positive, not going to change, unemployable
Transcript
Dogbert, career counselor DOgbert: "You have no marketable talent." "You're totally unemployable and that's not going to change." "The important thing is to keep a positive attitude."
Thursday June 28,
2007
Tags career counselor, something you love, not working, loserish, bowling
Transcript
Dogbert, career counselor Dogbert: "Do something you love." Ted: "I love not working." Dogbert: "Do you have any loves that are any less loserish?" Ted: "I love to watch bowling!"
Thursday June 21,
2007
Tags green consultant, source of methane, free source, energy, small office, give, butt, hose, pants, health
Transcript
Dogbert the green consultant Dogbert: "Your coworkers have identified you as a source of methane." Dogbert: "If we capture this free source of energy we can power a small office building." Wally: "I give and I give."
Wednesday June 20,
2007
Tags green consultant, rm your suv, hybrid cars, stop using fuel, save earth, other people sacrifice
Transcript
Dogbert the green consultant Dogbert: "Try ramming your SUV into hybrid cars." "That should stop them from using fuel altogether." "You can't save the Earth unless you're willing to make other people sacrifice." CEO: "I'm in."
Tuesday June 19,
2007
Tags dark, decompose, defecation, driving, green consultant, hate earth, procreating, stop eating
Transcript
Dogbert the Green Consultant Dogbert: "Stop eating, breathing, driving, defecating, and procreating." "Sit in the dark and decompose on some garden seeds." "Or do you admit you hate Earth?" The Boss:"A little."


