Ignorant Employees Comic Strips - Page 62

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View 611 - 620 results for ignorant employees comic strips. Discover the best "Ignorant Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #television, #show, #ignorant, #people, #shadows, #alter, #voice, #electronically, #considerate

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm going to host my own television show." Dogbert continues, "It's called 'Dogbert's World of Amazingly Ignorant People.'" Dogbert continues, "Of course, I'll film you in shadows and alter your voice electronically." Dilbert replies, "That's very considerate."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #nation's, #founding fathers, #motives, #running, #president, #slave owners, #democratic, #ignorance

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "I think the nation's founding fathers would be ashamed of your motives for running for President." Dogbert asks, "Weren't they slave owners?" Dilbert replies, "Well . . . Sure, but at least it was democratic." Dogbert says, "Back then, the only people allowed to vote were white male land owners." Dogbert continues as Dilbert walks away, "In fact, the presidency was created so the ignorant masses would think there was a king." Dilbert covers his ears and says, "La la la la la la la la."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #concerned, #running, #president, #wrong, #reasons, #ego, #gratification, #power, #wealth, #ignorant, #masses

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "I'm concerned that you might be running for President for the wrong reasons . . ." Dilbert asks, "Are you doing it for ego gratification, power, and wealth?" Dogbert replies, "Yes." Dilbert shakes his finger at Dogbert and says, "Well, those are all the wrong reasons." Dogbert says, "Of course, I'll tell the ignorant masses that it's because I hate big government."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #doves, #killed, #help, #loyal, #dog, #illegal, #zoo, #rusty, #neighbors, #time

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Dilbert and his uncle sit at a table eating dinner. Dilbert says, "Uncle Ned, can we see your hunting trophies after dinner?" Dilbert looks at a mounted bear head and says, "Oooh . . ." Ned says, "I bagged this one at the zoo." Dilbert says, "The zoo? That's illegal." Ned replies, "No wonder everybody got so excited." Ned shows Dilbert some other plaques and says, "These are some doves I killed with the help of my loyal dog, Rusty." They walk past a mounted dog and Ned says, "That's Rusty. We ran out of doves . . ." They look at the heads of a man, woman and cat. Ned says, "These were my neighbors - Florence, Dave and Muffin." Dilbert carries Dogbert under his arm and says, "Hey, look at the time! Got to run!" Ned asks, "Don't you want to see my 'Hall-O'-Postal Employees'?" Dilbert and Dogbert leave the house. Dilbert says, "New rule: Find out their hobbies before you eat their pot roast." Dogbert says, "We should have stayed for the 'Hall-O'-Postal Employees.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame, #budget, #Dilbert, #the boss, #empowered, #decisions, #employees, #calculated, #risks, #new, #Word

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and asks, "What did you mean when you said all employees are empowered?" Dilbert continues, "Does that mean I can control my own budget, make decisions without twelve levels of approval, and take calculated risks on my own?" The Boss replies, "No, it's just a way to blame employees for not doing the things we tell them not to do." Dilbert hangs his head and says, "No wonder you needed a new word."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #the boss, #emplopyees, #empowered, #decisions, #empowerment, #concept, #productive, #fired, #work

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The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and another employee, "From now on, all employees are empowered to make their own decisions." The Boss continues, "Empowerment is the concept of the nineties. You'll be happier and more productive." Wally says, "You're fired, Dilbert." Dilbert replies, "No, YOU are!" The woman says, "I'll never work hard again!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #alice, #staff, #cuts, #dart, #chart, #blind folded, #slayed, #johnson, #decisive, #management

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The Boss says to Dilbert and two other employees, "The staff cuts will be determined by tossing a dart at the organization chart while blindfolded." The Boss puts on a blindfold and throws the dart. Someone screams. A woman says, "You slayed Johnson!" The Boss replies, "Boy, talk about decisive management!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #japanese, #offer, #company, #ceo, #employees, #laid off, #accept, #neener, #Dogbert

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A man stands in front of Dilbert's desk and says, "The Japanese have made an offer to buy the company." The man continues, "As CEO you would make $68 million . . . But the employees would all be laid off." Back at home, Dilbert asks Dogbert, "If I accept, what will I say to the employees?" Dogbert replies, "How about 'neener neener?'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #rabert, #ruler, #earth, #ignorant, #masses, #zombie, #mode, #stuck

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Dogbert stands on the edge of a cliff and yells, "I am Dogbert, the supreme ruler of earth!!" Dogbert yells, "Worship me, you ignorant masses!!" Dogbert says to Ratbert, "That was practice." Ratbert replies, "Darn, now my eyes are stuck in zombie mode . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #floyed remora, #twenty years, #survives, #attaching, #employees

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The Boss: Dilbert, this is your new co-worker, Floyd Remora. Floyd has worked here for twenty years without developing any skills. He survives by attaching himself to other employees. Dilbert: Go ahead... Ask me how my day went.