Job Interview Comic Strips - Page 62
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993 Results for Job Interview
View 611 - 620 results for job interview comic strips. Discover the best "Job Interview" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday April 06,
2005
Tags new marketing camoaign, no budget, brave enough, bold project, worst job, hiding
Transcript
The Boss: "We need a new marketing campaign but we have no budget for it whatsoever." "Who among is is brave enough to lead such a risky project?" "Okay, you're doing the worst job of hiding under the table."
Wednesday March 16,
2005
Tags set a conference call, secretary's job, carol, ask question, set up appointmet
Transcript
Carol: Asok, your pointy-haired boss wants you to set up a conference call with all the division managers." Asok: "Um... wouldn't that be his secretary's job? And aren't you his secretary?" Carol: "Hey, I know. Why don't you try to get an appointment with him so you can ask that question."
Wednesday March 09,
2005
Tags rat problem, reporting, rat bait, unwashed, job satisfaction, calling names, being mean
Transcript
Carol: We're having a problem with the rats in the office. " You might want to upgrade your level of hygiene from "rat bait" to "unwashed."" "I think I just felt my first tingle of job satisfaction."
Sunday February 20,
2005
Tags pre meeting, problems, fix them, budgets, deadlines, technical stuff, any questions, feel nauseated, great job, compliments
Transcript
Let's have a pre-meeting before your meeting with our vice president. "Don't mention any problems because he might try to fix them." "Don't say anything about budgets or deadlines because he might reduce them." "Leave out the technical stuff because it will only confuse him." "That leaves me nothing to talk about." "Perfect!" "Hello... And in summary. Are there any questions?" "Wow! That's the first presentation that hasn't made me feel nauseated or dizzy! Great job!" "Why does success make me hate humanity?" "They deserve it."
Thursday January 20,
2005
Tags tina trains, new boss, uniformed decions, sociopathic ego maniac, like to fidget
Transcript
Tina trains her boss Tina: You'll find me in this chair. doing real work. Tina: your job, as I understand it, is to make uninformed decisions and act like a sociopathic egomaniac, Tina: you'll usually stand like this. I also like to fidget and harrumph.
Saturday January 15,
2005
Tags slow computer, uogarde, cost benefit analysis, vice president approval
Transcript
Dilbert: "My computer is too slow. I need to upgrade it." The Boss: "I need a cost benefit analysis including the cost of all alternatives, and vice president approval." Dilbert: "It was easier to get a second job and pay for the upgrade myself."
Thursday December 23,
2004
Tags combined, dating service, online job site, system
Transcript
"I combined an online dating service with an online job site and an online auction site." "You tell the system everything about yourself and see if anyone wants any of it." ""I wouldn't date you or hire you, but I'll bid a dollar for your refrigerator.""
Wednesday December 22,
2004
Tags objectives are vague, unmeasurable, not inspired, achieve full ptential, bad job
Transcript
"I am concerned because my objectivess are vague and unmeasurable." "As a result, I am not inspired to achieve my full potential... and... um..." "Did I just say I'm doing a bad job and ask you to punish me?" "That's what I heard."
Monday December 20,
2004
Tags online ereume, older chubby men, key words, married men, job offers, cousin, Advice, one line job hunting
Transcript
"I wasn't getting any responses to my online resume until I inserted some key words." "I said I'm strangely attracted to older, chubby, married men with coffee-stained teeth." "That is wrong on so many levels." "Explain that to my six thousand job offers."
Sunday December 19,
2004
Tags job interview, extra luck, less available, albert einstein, hero, critic of war, jeffrey dahmer, lottery win
Transcript
"I have a job interview. Wish me luck." "No." "If you get extra luck then there might be less available for me." "I don't think it works that way." "I can't take that chance." "Tell me, Dilbert, who would you consider your hero?" "Albert Einstein." "That should be safe." "Oh, really? He was an outspoken critic of war. We design missle guidance systems." "How about Jeffrey Dahmer? No?" "I won the lottery!"

