Wally Comic Strips - Page 62

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laptop computers, its to program, training program, rectangle plastic thing, boost sales, sales force

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "In an effort to boost sales, laptop computers have been given to every member of the sales force." Wally says, "That could be a problem, given the recent cuts to the training budget." The caption says, "Meanwhile, in the field." A salesperson holds up a laptop and says to a client, "And if you order today, I'll throw in this rectangular plastic thing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags corporate vice presdient, win bet, action plan, spend money, vice president, annoying rodent

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Dogbert says to Ratbert, "Remember everything I taught you, Ratbert. If you can pass yourself off as a corporate vice president, I'll win my bet." Ratbert stands on a desk and says to Wally as he walks by, "Yo, Headcount! If you have any issues, put together an action plan. Our people are the best. Don't spend money." Wally asks Alice, "Do you think he's really a vice president?" Alice answers, "Maybe. But I'm not ready to rule out 'annoying rodent' yet." In the background Ratbert says, "Quality."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags valuable experince, rodent, vice president of marketing, simple marketing plan, good press

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Ratbert, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. Ratbert says, "I had years of valuable experience as a rodent before I became vice president of marketing." Ratbert continues, "My marketing plan is simple. Each of you will cling to the leg of a technology columnist until we get some good press." Dilbert approaches a technology columnist and says, "It looks like you're full." The man has people clinging to both legs. He responds, "You can cling to the cat until a space opens."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stupid machine, taken coins, sunny disposition, nothing, dignity, career, drawing line, soda machine

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Dilbert stands in front of a soda vending machine. He pushes a button and says angrily, "Stupid machine, you've taken my coins and with them my sunny disposition." The Boss walks up behind Dilbert who shouts, "There's nothing left to give!!! You've taken it all!!!" Wally, Alice and the Boss stand behind Dilbert watching him talk to the machine. Dilbert says, "Okay, you got my dignity and my career, too . . . But I am drawing the line HERE, Buster!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 40 % sick days, fridays, mondays, good one, kidding

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Asok the Intern sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "It has come to my attention that 40% of your sick days are on Fridays and Mondays. This is unacceptable." Asok throws his head back and shouts, "Ha ha ha!!! That's a good one!!!" Asok sees the serious look on the Boss's face. He turns to Dilbert and Wally and says, "Please tell me he was kidding." Wally says, "Welcome to hell, kid."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dance, Dogbert, employees, hired, more creative, poetry, souls, special blend, spiritually fulfilled, dog with hat, business

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Dogbert, who is wearing a wizard's hat, stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert says, "I can make your employees more creative and spiritually fulfilled." Dogbert continues, "I use my special blend of poetry and dance to touch their souls." The Boss says, "Okay. You're hired." Dogbert stands on a desk and dances while Alice, Wally and Dilbert watch. Dogbert recites, "There once was a dog with a hat . . . Who got paid to dance like that . . ." Wally says, "Hey! My soul just healed!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags catbert hr driector, new employees, always quit, reapply, old job, higher salary, catnip, rubbing body

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Wally sits across from Catbert's desk. Catbert says, "Wally, it might not seem fair that new employees are paid more than you . . ." Catbert continues, "But you could always quit and then reapply for your old job at a higher salary." Wally says angrily, "I just might do that!!" Catbert says, "Would you mind rubbing this catnip all over your body first?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags marketing plan, comments, obvious generalities, wishful thinking, business value, glamour career

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An employee from marketing, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The woman says, "And that's the marketing plan. Any comments?" Dilbert says, "It appears to be a bunch of obvious generalities and wishful thinking with no apparent business value." The woman thinks, "Marketing didn't turn out to be the glamour career I expected." Wally shows his copy of the plan to Dilbert and says, "I circled all the words you won't find in any dictionary."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work avoidance device, leave meeting, scurry away, pager number, grasping concept

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Alice stands at a vending machine. Wally points to a beeper on his hip and says to Alice, "I got myself a little work-avoidance device." Wally continues, "If I want to leave a meeting early, I just look down and say 'uh-oh' and scurry away." Alice asks, "What's the pager number in case I need you?" Wally says, "You're not quite grasping the concept here, Alice."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, hr director, employee oreinetation, glimmer, mandatory training video

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Catbert stands behind Wally's desk and says, "I've come to give you 'employee orientation,' Wally." Wally says, "But I've worked here for years." Catbert says, "You still have a glimmer of hope. You'll have to watch this mandatory training video." Wally sits in front of a television and VCR. The video begins, "So, you still have hope . . ." Catbert massages Wally's temples and says, "Relax . . . Let it go."