Hours Per Week Comic Strips - Page 62
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654 Results for Hours Per Week
View 611 - 620 results for hours per week comic strips. Discover the best "Hours Per Week" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday March 31,
2018
Anyone Fired Lately
Tags #blame, #fired, #scapegoat, #laziness, #excuse
Transcript
Wally: Before I give my project status report, has anyone quit or been fired recently? Boss: I fired Ted last week. Now tell me why your project is late. Wally: It was Ted's fault.
Monday March 26,
2018
The Extra 10%
Tags #work ethic, #excuses, #effort, #motivation
Transcript
Boss: Our project can only succeed if each of us gives 110 percent. Voice 1: I'm off next week. Voice 2: I have surgery on Monday. Voice 3: I gave my two-week notice a week ago. Boss: Okay, can I get a 50 percent effort from any of you? Wally: I can only give you the extra 10 percent you believe exists.
Wednesday March 28,
2018
To Do List
Tags #to-do list, #list, #task, #stress, #assignments
Transcript
Dilbert: I'd better make a list of all the things I need to do today. Narrator: Eight hours later. Dilbert: I have 347 urgent tasks, and I add about seven new ones each day. I'll cross "make a to-do list" off my to-do list and call it a day.
Wednesday May 23,
2018
Idea Stealing
Thursday May 24,
2018
Boring And Needy Children
Tags #parents, #mother, #interview, #children, #annoyance, #work-life balance, #Family
Transcript
Boss: Do you enjoy spending time with your children? Woman: No, they're boring and needy. They can't even hold a conversation. If I'm being honest, I prefer working long hours so I see less of them. Boss: Perfect. You're hired. Woman: I mean, I love them, but I don't like them.
Wednesday July 04,
2018
Reducing Headcount By Attrition
Tags #big business, #injury, #layoff, #osha, #safety
Transcript
CEO: We need to reduce headcount, but we plan to do it by attrition. We're loosening our safety standards and letting nature do the rest. Voice: Gaaa!!! Ouch!!! CEO: You might want to keep your headphones on for a week or so.
Wednesday August 01,
2018
Robot Learns Human Behavior
Sunday August 19,
2018
Tags #alice, #Dilbert, #Wally, #chatbot, #plumbing supply, #website, #sister
Transcript
Wally: I fell in love with a chatbot. We met on a plumbing supply website. I started innocently. I had a few questions about faucets. Next thing I knew, she was getting flirty. Now we chat for hours every night. Alice: That is the most pathetic thing I have ever heard you creepy loser. Dilbert: Does your chatbot have a sister?
Sunday August 26,
2018
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #draft, #same day, #sloth, #tardiness
Transcript
The Boss: I told you a week ago that I needed your first draft by today. This is exactly why I say bad things about you behind your back! I need employees I can rely on! Your tardiness and sloth cannot be rewarded. Dilbert: I gave you the first draft the same day you asked. In fact, I think you're holding it in your hand right now. The Boss: I'll be back when I figure out how this is still your fault.
Wednesday August 29,
2018
Dogbert's Time Management Book
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #time, #management, #time management, #blank
Transcript
Dogbert: Would you like to read my book on time management? Dilbert: Yes. These pages are blank. Dogbert: I just saved you three hours.