Mail Yourself Home Comic Strips - Page 62

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View 611 - 620 results for mail yourself home comic strips. Discover the best "Mail Yourself Home" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #eating, #annoyed, #angry, #violence, #hitting, #punching, #arrogant

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The foodie with a huge forehead Man says, Mmmm, a pomme de terre frite with sea salt and just a hint of rosemary." Punch! Alice says, "That was a French Fry. And much like yourself, it was a salted."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asking, #information, #confidential, #joking, #angry, #annoyed

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the Boss says, "I need you to keep this information to yourself. Can you do that?" Dilbert says, "Well, obviously I'd have to weigh the benefits of sharing it versus the risk of getting caught." Dilbert says, "It's sort of a dumb question if you think about it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #orders, #demands, #work, #ridiculous, #confused

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The Boss says, "Asok, rummage through the piles on my desk and find yourself something to do." The boss says, "Afterward, chastise yourself for not doing it the way I would have." Asok says, "Even if you would have done it wrong?" The boss, "Especially then. No one likes a show-off."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asking, #request, #excuse, #ridicule, #lazy

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Wally says, "Can I work from home? There are too many distractions in the office." The boss says, "Don't you have just as many distractions at your house?" Wally says, "Not unless my idiot couch starts questioning all of my great suggestions."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #telling, #confused, #relinquish, #change, #excuses, #reasoning

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The Boss says, "Tina, you can't work at home anymore because the admins can't do it, and they're jealous." Tina says, "I'm a technical writter. Why don't you explain to the admins that my job is different from theirs." The Boss says, "When you find a big kettle of crazy, it's best not to stir it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #career, #mean, #plans, #murder, #nervous, #misunderstanding, #hatred

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The Boss says, "Carol, I'd like to talk to you about your career goals." Carol says, "My career goal is to take over the department by tricking you into a fatal accident, then telling everyone you're just working from home." The boss says, "That's not right." Carol says, "So you're saying I should set my goals low?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #asking, #project, #procrastination, #excuses, #blame, #distraction, #annoyed, #frustrated, #business

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The boss says, "Wally, you didn't e-mail me your project status." Wally says, "Did you check your spam folder?" Wally says, "Maybe you should check there before you besmirch my good name with your baseless accusations." The Boss says, "Did you send it?" Wally says, "Okay, I see how you're trying to turn this around."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #complaining, #value, #recession, #ridiculous, #proud, #competing

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Topper Dilbert says, "The value of my home is down about 40%" Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "I paid a homeless Elbonian family a million dollars to take my house." Dilbert says, "A recession isn't a competition." Topper says, "Said the loser."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #1993, #landline, #cell phone, #romance

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Woman says, "Give me a call sometime." Dilbert says, "Maybe." Dilbert says, "I'll need to do a complete forensic analysis of your business card." Dilbert says, "Your home phone is a landline. That must come in handy when someone calls from 1993."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #date, #restaurant, #rude, #email, #hitting on, #interrupting

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Dilbert says, "You've made a number of innacurate statements during the course of this date." Dilbert says, "I don't want to break the romantic mood, so I'll send you an e-mail with links that you can review on your own time." The waiter says, "It sounds like you two are over. WOuld it hurt my tip if I take a run at her?"