Slapped Ceo Comic Strips - Page 62

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

627 Results for Slapped Ceo

View 611 - 620 results for slapped ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Slapped Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ceo In Cubicle

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo In Cubicle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #private, #office, #cubicle, #common, #work, #employees

View Transcript

Transcript

eco: i've decided to give up my private office and work from a cubicle so employees will respect me more. my cubicle will be 1,000 square feet, with a ceiling. dilbert: that's called an office. eco: nothing pleases you common folk.

Ted Talks Might Take Your Job

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Talks Might Take Your Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #social media, #technology, #instagram, #ted talks, #smart, #moron

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: the moron i hired keeps watching ted talks and getting smarter. he's only about three ted talks away from taking your job. ceo: there must be a way to slow him down. boss: i'll see if i can interest him in instagram.

Boss Follows Racists On Twitter

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Boss Follows Racists On Twitter - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #covid, #follow, #managers & supervisors, #pandemic, #proof, #racists, #reports, #staff, #twitter, #white supremacist

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: i'm getting reports from your staff that you're a white supremacist. boss wearing face mask and drinking coffee: but i'm not. ceo: we have proof because you follow racists on twitter. boss: what makes you think they are racists? ceo: because they follow you on twitter.

Boss Fired For Being White Supremacist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Fired For Being White Supremacist  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #racism, #fired, #employees, #white supremacist, #apathy, #career, #punch, #witness, #denial

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: i have to fire you because employees are saying you are a white supremacist. boss: but i'm not. ceo: doesn't matter. i care more about my career than your life. boss: you're firing me just to look good? ceo: and i'll need to punch you in front of witnesses.

Survivor Guilt

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Survivor Guilt  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coronavirus, #managers & supervisors, #business, #double, #income, #pandemic, #covid, #survivor guilt, #sympathy, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: well, i personally doubled my income during the pandemic. now i have a bad case of survivor guilt. dilbert: do you expect to get much sympathy for that? ceo: i won't know until i try.

Lucky Profits

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lucky Profits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bonus, #business, #compensation, #executive, #managers & supervisors, #pandemic, #sarcasm, #technology, #video conferencing, #zoom, #luck

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert to ceo: there's a problem with your executive compensation. the company made so much money during the pandemic, purely by luck, that your bonus would be ten million dollars. ceo: i earned it. catbert: you made zoom calls wearing only socks.

Audit Blackmail

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Audit Blackmail - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #business, #audit, #software, #blackmail, #free, #network, #money, #dollars

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: my audit of your company has uncovered a number of software vulnerabilities. for example, a blackmailer could take control of your network and make you pay a billion dollars to get it back. ceo: good work. what do we owe you? dogbert: the audit is free. i only did it to find ways to blackmail you.

Fired For Social Media

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fired For Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #social media, #business, #technology, #employment, #fire, #offensive, #bad, #people, #twitter, #issues, #context, #sides, #associate, #monsters

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: dilbert: i need to fire you for your social media activities. dilbert: did i say something offensive? boss: i'm getting reports that you follow bad people on twitter. dilbert: i follow people on both sides of every issue so i can see the full context. boss: that might sound good on paper, but half of the people you follow are monsters of one sort or another. dilbert: isn't it obvious that enforcing this kind of standard can only lead in a bad direction. boss: no, i don't see that at all. all i see is that you associate with people who are monsters. ceo to boss: i'm getting reports that you follow dilbert on twitter.

Dogbert Crisis Consultant

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Crisis Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #subordinates, #allegations, #crisis, #consultant, #statement, #lying, #dumb, #believe, #public, #legal, #defense

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: my job as a crisis consultant is to help you respond to the allegations from seventy-three of your past and present subordinates. i'll issue a statement from you saying everyone of them is lying. ceo: who would be dumb enough to believe that? dogbert: i call them "the public."

Dogbert Makes A Deal

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Makes A Deal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #subordinates, #behavior, #accusation, #press, #douse, #gasoline, #fire, #deal, #fairness, #negotiators

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i made a deal with all of the subordinates who accused you of inappropriate behavior. they will stop talking to the press if you agree to let them douse you with gasoline and set you on fire. ceo: that's the best deal you could get me? dogbert: in all fairness, they are great negotiators, and i don't like you.