Never Saw Luggage Comic Strips - Page 63

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

714 Results for Never Saw Luggage

View 621 - 630 results for never saw luggage comic strips. Discover the best "Never Saw Luggage" comics from Dilbert.com.

Engineer With No Soul

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Engineer With No Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #soul, #motivation, #cruelty, #abuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired an engineer who has no soul. This way, I won't feel so bad when I motivate him with emotional abuse. Dilbert: You're joking, right? Boss: Ha! You're right. I never feel bad about stuff.

Too Dumb To Understand

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Too Dumb To Understand - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insult, #intelligence, #ego

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Your idea will never work. Dilbert: That's because you're too dumb to understand it. My idea would look brilliant if you were sixty percent smarter. Man: I don't know how to respond to that. Dilbert: That's consistent with my hypothesis.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #prognosticate, #prediction, #projection, #budget, #blame

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are your financial projections available? Dilbert: Yes, because I can see into the future. Boss: No one can see into the future. Dilbert: Then why did you ask me if I can do it? Boss: It's your job to predict the outcome of your project. Dilbert: Why would you ask me to do something that no one can do? Boss: I don't need you to be accurate. I only need someone to blame when we go over budget. Dilbert: I saw that coming. Boss: No one like a braggart.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #condescention, #disagreement, #criticism, #snark, #body language, #argument

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Are there any questions? Man: Your plan is so dumb that I am forced to make my condescending face to respond. You are so dumb! Dilbert: Did you have a reason? Man: Do I have a reason? Hahaha! That's precious. There are so many reasons that I don't know where to start! Dilbert: Just pick one. Man: Haha! Easy. You will never get funded. Dilbert: It's already fully funded. What else do you have? Man: To be honest, all I had was the funding issues and this face.

Boss Gets A Troll

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Gets A Troll  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #troll, #social media, #trolling, #insult, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This idiot keeps insulting me on social media! Every time I block him, he returns with a new account. It's like he never has anything better to do. Dilbert: Do you have a new hobby? Wally: It's more like a passion.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #antisocial, #goals, #achievement, #aspirations, #frustration, #reality

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Wally, do you have goals? Wally: My goal is to be an Olympic pole vaulter. Tina: You don't look... Wally: Sporty? Tina: I was going to say healthy. Wally: That's why Olympic pole vaulting is my goal> I wouldn't need a goal to do something easy. Tina: Are you training for it? Wally: No. Tina: You're living in a fantasy world! You'll never get to the Olympics! I can't sit here and listen to this. Dilbert: Looks like you accomplished your goal. Wally: Thanks for noticing.

Robot Can Take Boss's Job

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Can Take Boss's Job  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers, #boss, #work, #ai, #artificial intelligence, #automation

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: I wonder whose job I'll take first. Boss: You could never do my job. Robot: I'm doing it right now. Boss: You're not doing anything. Robot: Right. Let that sink in.

Wally Is Late For Meetings

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Is Late For Meetings  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #tardy, #tardiness, #late, #time

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm getting a lot of complaints about you being late for meetings. Wally: They never talk about anything important in the first ten minutes. Boss: They're usually talking about you being late. Wally: Why would I need to be there for that?

Pretending To Be Helpful

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Pretending To Be Helpful - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insulting, #coworkers, #consultation, #indirect, #pretend, #helpful, #grammar, #slide deck

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults Never insult your co-worers directly. Instead, undermine their confidence by pretending to be helpful. Wally: let me know if you need help fixing the grammar in your slide deck. Alice: what?

Coworkers Who Are Special

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Coworkers Who Are Special  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consultation, #insults, #fired, #pay, #Advice, #special, #compliment

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Consults Never call your co-worker a colossal moron, That could get you fired. Instead , say, "well, aren't you special" Dilbert: Are we paying you for this advice? Dogbert: well, aren't you special.