Project Classified Comic Strips - Page 63

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

674 Results for Project Classified

View 621 - 630 results for project classified comic strips. Discover the best "Project Classified" comics from Dilbert.com.

Swear On The Lives Of Your Coworkers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Swear On The Lives Of Your Coworkers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lying, #swearing, #exaggeration, #deception, #accomplishment

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I achieved all of my milestones on my secret project this month. Boss: How do I know any of that is true? Wally: I swear on the lives of my coworkers. Boss: I'm getting a mixed message here.

Blamecatcher

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Blamecatcher - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame, #scapegoat, #failure, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm assigning you to a project that is co-managed by vice presidents who hate each other. Dilbert; Why do they want me to work on a project that is clearly doomed? Boss: They said something about a "blamecatcher."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #memory, #notes, #forgetting, #reminder, #forgetfulness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can you review the project plan in the shared folder before Monday? Man: Absolutely. Dilbert: I don't see you making a note to remind you later. Man: I'll remember. Dilbert: How many other tasks are you trying to remember at the same time/ Man: About seventy. Dilbert: And yet you will remember this one? Man: Have some faith, Wally. Dilbert: My name is Dilbert. Man: What were we talking about?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #prognosticate, #prediction, #projection, #budget, #blame

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are your financial projections available? Dilbert: Yes, because I can see into the future. Boss: No one can see into the future. Dilbert: Then why did you ask me if I can do it? Boss: It's your job to predict the outcome of your project. Dilbert: Why would you ask me to do something that no one can do? Boss: I don't need you to be accurate. I only need someone to blame when we go over budget. Dilbert: I saw that coming. Boss: No one like a braggart.

Wally Is Working If You Don't See Him

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Is Working If You Don't See Him - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #deception, #invisibility, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's your stealth clothing project coming along? Wally: Great. I'm usually testing the prototype in the office. That's why you rarely see me working. Boss: So... the less I see you work, the more successful you must be? Wally: It's just common sense.

Wally Works On Stealth Clothing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Works On Stealth Clothing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invisibility, #attendance, #deception, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We won a bid to design stealth clothing for the military. Wally: Ooh! Ooh! I volunteer to work on that project. Boss: Um... okay. Narrator: One month later. Boss: Your attendance has been poor lately. Wally: Here's where I teach you about "reasonable doubt."

Sunk Costs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sunk Costs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #big business, #logic, #loss, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The economics of the project have changed. We need to shut it down. Boss: If we stop now, the $10 million we already spent will be wasted. Dilbert: And if we stop later? Boss: The trick is to never finish the project.

Wally Pivots

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Pivots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #deception, #projects

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My project was failing, so I pivoted to a different idea with the same name. Later, I'll change the project name to cover my tracks. Asok: What about your sunk costs? Wally: Gone like footprints in the sands of time.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #suggestion, #invention, #budget, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The electronic suggestion box project is halfway done. The original design called for a bos that scans and digitizes suggestions written on paper and emails them to the appropriate manager. Then the device shreds the original paper suggestion to make room for more. I already built the box and the shredder. I'll need additional funding to finish the scanning part. Boss: We don't have any flexibility in our budget. Let's just deploy what you have. Dilbert: All I have is a box that shreds suggestions before anyone reads them. Boss: Don't let perfect be the enemy of good.

Two Hour Summary

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Two Hour Summary - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #language, #jargon, #listening, #communication, #interpretation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Thank you for that two-hour summary of your project. I didn't understand any of the jargon you used, but based on the context, I believe you are saying the software will be done soon. Alice: I didn't say anything about software. Boss: I guess neither of us did our best work today.