Technology Comic Strips - Page 63
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803 Results for Technology
View 621 - 630 results for technology comic strips. Discover the best "Technology" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday February 19,
2020
Alice And Blockchain
Tags business, technology, project, learn, skills
Transcript
alice: i'd like to help on the blockchain project to build my skills in that area. boss: i don't like it when people learn new things. alice: i don't know what to say to that. boss: oh, good. it worked.
Friday February 21,
2020
Expecting Excellence
Tags business, technology, happiness, expectations, coffee, dysfunction, excellence
Transcript
wally: asok, he key to happiness is lowering your expectations. for example, all i expect from work today is twelve cups of coffee and a humorous display of corporate dysfunction. asok: that sounds sad. wally: try expecting excellence and see how that works for you.
Tuesday February 25,
2020
Pragmatist
Tags business, plans, office workers, stupid, pragmatist, practical, implement, technology
Transcript
asok: i'm a pragmatist. i like plans that are practical. wally: not me. i like plans that can't be implemented. way less work. asok: my way sounds stupid now.
Sunday April 05,
2020
No Time Before Next Meeting
Tags boss, business, care, co-workers, hate, job, lesson, meeting, nonesence, procrastinate, reality, report, stupid, technical, technology, time
Transcript
dilbert thinking: that meeting ran long, so now i have ten minutes before the next one. i'm suppose to bring a complete technical report, and i haven't even started it. i hate this stupid job! dilbert still thinking but showing signs of distress: i hate my boss! i hate my stupid co-workers! dilbert yelling: i don't care about anything anymore! dilbert thinking and typing on laptop: i'll just angrily slap together a bunch of nonsense and call it good. grrrrrr!!! in conference room. boss: this is your bet report ever. dilbert yelling: what? dilbert at home with dogbert: today i learned a dangerous lesson about reality.
Saturday March 14,
2020
Transfer Money To The Rich
Tags computer, technology, cloud, social, change, transfer, money, low-income, rich, wrong, efficient
Transcript
dogbert at laptop: now that i'm managing the cloud, it's time to make some social changes. i'll transfer any remaining money from low-income people to the rich. dilbert in bath robe: that feels wrong. dogbert: i'm just adding efficiently to the inevitable.
Tuesday March 17,
2020
Hiring Morons
Tags managers & supervisors, technology, business, technical, job, market, hire, moron, critical
Transcript
boss: the job market is so hot right now that we can only afford to hire morons. dilbert: how will we fill our critical technical jobs? boss: i just told you.
Friday March 27,
2020
Ted Talks Might Take Your Job
Tags business, managers & supervisors, social media, technology, instagram, ted talks, smart, moron
Transcript
boss: the moron i hired keeps watching ted talks and getting smarter. he's only about three ted talks away from taking your job. ceo: there must be a way to slow him down. boss: i'll see if i can interest him in instagram.
Saturday March 28,
2020
Ted Talks Creates A God
Tags business, technology, mental, midget, ted talks, binge-watching, god, dumb, all knowing
Transcript
new hire: i must leave you mental midgets behind as i go start up my own company. i was once dumb like all of you. then i started binge-watching ted talks, and i evolved. dilbert: what are you now? new hire: some kind of god, i assume.
Monday March 30,
2020
I Will Send You A List
Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, target, complicated, detail, list
Transcript
wally: and i plan to meet my targets by doing a variety of complicated things. boss: what kind of things? wally: i'll send you a detailed list. boss: what if you forget to send it? wally: with any luck, you'll forget you asked for it.
Wednesday April 01,
2020
Goggles Remove Humans
Tags business, technology, goggles, human, scenery, alone, noise canceling, headphones, interaction, mega, dork
Transcript
dilbert: i invented goggles that remove humans from the scenery, so one can enjoy being alone. add noice canceling headphones, and you'll never again have to experience the horror of human interaction. alice: you freakin' megadork. dilbert holding arms out: mmmm, bliss.


