Get Better Jobs Comic Strips - Page 63

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

637 Results for Get Better Jobs

View 621 - 630 results for get better jobs comic strips. Discover the best "Get Better Jobs" comics from Dilbert.com.

Coffee Productivity

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Coffee Productivity - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, business, projects, productive, medical, coffee, lie, medical-grade coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

wally in meeting with boss and dilbert: i've been highly productive since switching to medical-grade coffee. i finished all of my projects and did an excellent job on every one. boss: wow! dilbert and wally in hall after: so that stuff actually makes you more productive? wally: no, but it does make me lie better.

Working At Home Benefits

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Working At Home Benefits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags loneliness, office, technology, video conference, work at home, co-workers, mute

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert at home on bed. wally's voice from laptop: how do you like working at home all the time now? dilbert: i was delighted to discover that a crushing sense of loneliness is better than spending time with my co-workers. wally: no offense taken. dilbert: and don't get me started about the splendor of the mute button.

Buying Tee Shirts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Buying Tee Shirts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags clothing, purchase, retail, size, small, t-shirt, home, shopping

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: do you like my new t-shirt? it's two sizes too small, but that's all they had. dogbert: wouldn't it be better to buy shirts that you like that are also the right size? dilbert: in theory, yes. but i have been buying t-shirts for years, and i don't recall seeing that option.

Motivosity Bucks

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Motivosity Bucks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, working, weekend, employment, bucks, money, motivosity

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: thanks for working all weekend to get the project done, dilbert. i award you two motivosity bucks. dilbert: i like real money better. boss: that just cost you two motivosity bucks.

Wally Does Three Jobs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Does Three Jobs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, money, fortune, employer, employment, working from home, job, manage, expectations, people

View Transcript

Transcript

wally and dilbert on video conference call. wally: i'm making a fortune working from home. three different employers think i work only for them. dilbert: how do you do three jobs at the same time: wally: it comes down to managing other people's expectations.

Keyboard Upgrades

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Keyboard Upgrades  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, technology, keyboard, design, keys, better, hard, software, upgrades

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i have an idea for a keyboard design that we upgrade every six months by rearranging where the keys are. boss: why would we do that? dilbert: to make it better. boss: that would only make it harder to use. dilbert: exactly like our software upgrades. what's your point?

Dogbert Is Doctor Of Impossible

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Is Doctor Of Impossible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boring, business, cure, diseases, doctor, fail, headache, ice-cold bath, impossible, improvement, medical, prescribe, sarcasm, treatments, health and wellnes

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i'm dogbert, doctor of the impossible. boss: does that mean you cure diseases that are believed to be impossible to cure? dogbert: no, that sounds boring. i prescribe treatments that are impossible to follow. when you fail you don't get better. you'll think it's your own fault. boss: how does that help anyone but you? dogbert: hey, i'm not the one who brought it up. boss: you're giving me a headache. dogbert: to cure that, i suggest ice-cold baths every six minutes.

Alice Compliments Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Compliments Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, comparison, project, job, great, dread, foreboding, generous, trap, lull, sabotage, career, monster

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: you did a great job on your project ted. ted: thank you. alice: you are most welcome. ted: wait. why do i have a sense of dread and foreboding? it isn't like you to give out generous compliments. this feels like a trap. you're lulling me into a false sense of security. you plan to sabotage my career to make yourself look better by comparison. ted yelling: you monster! boss: what's this all about? alice thinking: that worked out.

Think About Long Term

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Think About Long Term - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, long term, dynamics, reasonable, random, decision, job, employment

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: we need to think longer term about how all of these dynamics play out. dilbert: sounds reasonable. what exactly were we doing before? office worker: i can't speak for anyone else, but i was making random decisions and hoping i'd change jobs before anyone found out.

Boss Needs To Be Dumber

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Needs To Be Dumber  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, boss, smart, dumb, technical, decision, effective, influence

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: i think i'd be more effective at work if my boss were either smarter, so he'd understand me... or dumber, so he'd know it's better to let me make all of the technical decisions. and i can't make him smarter, so my plan is to make him dumber. dogbert: it seems i've been a bad influence.