List Of Employees Comic Strips - Page 63

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

711 Results for List Of Employees

View 621 - 630 results for list of employees comic strips. Discover the best "List Of Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boxes With Names

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boxes With Names - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #office workers, #suspicious, #layoff

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The rumors of a major layoff are completely untrue. Dilbert: Why did the facilities management people just deliver a huge load of cardboard boxes to the break room? Boss: You can never have too many boxes. Dilbert: Why does every box have an employee name on it?

No Raise For Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Raise For Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #employees, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #work, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I have a 25% raise to get my compensation up to market levels? Boss: No. Dilbert: Okay. I'll just work 25% less because you won't know the difference. Boss: I would know if you did that. Dilbert: Should I get back to separating the zeroes from the ones in our database?

Twizzle The Flurm

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Twizzle The Flurm - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #confused, #employees, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The engineers think I don't understand what they do all day. Catbert: Maybe it's because you don't. Boss: You too? Wally: My project is late because I had to twizzle the flurm. Boss: Okay, that sounds right.

Hiring A Millennial

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hiring A Millennial - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #office workers, #sarcasm, #smartphone, #generation, #millennial

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a millennial who was raised by smartphones. He won't make eye contact, and we don't expect him to ever mate. Dilbert: Can he speak? Boss: Yes, but only with sarcasm.

Did Not Know About The Server

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Did Not Know About The Server - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #excuses, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: It's been six months now and you still haven't fixed our server issue. Dilbert: I didn't know we had a server issue. Boss: That's no excuse. Dilbert: Actually, it's kind of a good excuse. Boss: Now you're making excuses for your excuses!

Dilbert And Brainwashing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert And Brainwashing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #avoidance, #employees, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why is your employee engagement so low? Dilbert: Because I'm relatively immune to brainwashing. Boss: Okay, I didn't think you knew.

Asok's Employee Engagement

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok's Employee Engagement - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #work, #attitude, #expectations

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Asok, your employee engagement has been a bit soft this quarter. I expect a higher level of irrational enthusiasm for the endless string of thankless tasks you call your job. Asok: How's this? Boss: I also want to see an unnatural preference for work over leisure.

Employee Engagement Is Up

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employee Engagement Is Up - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #questions, #data, #measurement

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: And I've improved employee engagement by nineteen percent. CEO: What is employee engagement? Boss: I'm not entirely sure. CEO: Then how do you measure it? Boss: Honestly, I wasn't expecting a lot of questions.

Dogbert's Self Defense School

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Self Defense School - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #enemies, #murder, #office workers, #training, #manipulation, #defense

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's school of unconventional self-defense. I'm handing out a list of my personal enemies. Your homework is to kill them before sunrise. Voice: That isn't self-defense. Dogbert: Wow. All you can think about is you, you, you.

My Last Company

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
My Last Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #employees, #employment, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: That's not the way we did it at my last company. Dilbert: Now I hate you and I don't want to interact with you in any way in the future. Man: Okay, that sounds just like my last company.