Lying Down Comic Strips - Page 63
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702 Results for Lying Down
View 621 - 630 results for lying down comic strips. Discover the best "Lying Down" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday March 30,
2017
Wally Didn't Write It Down
Tags deadline, project, excuse, procrastinate, delay
Transcript
Man: Did you finish the prototype? Wally: I didn't start because I had some questions. Man: Why didn't you ask me those questions a month ago? Wally: I was waiting until I saw you. Man: Fine... what are your questions? Wally: I just realized I didn't write them down.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday April 26,
2017
Culture As An Asset
Friday May 05,
2017
Keeping The Hacker Code
Tags cia, spy, hacking, technology, lying, deception, surveillance, cameras
Transcript
Wally: I hear you were a programmer for the CIA. Did you keep a copy of their hacker code that lets you spy through any digital agency? Erik: Would you believe "no?"
Friday May 26,
2017
Cyborg Rumors
Tags cyborg, robot, employees, replacement, deception, business
Transcript
Dilbert: There's a rumor that you plan to replace all normal employees with cyborgs that have microchips in their brains. Boss: There is no truth to the rumor that I plan to replace defective employees with highly capable, enhanced humanoids. Dilbert: I can't tell if you're lying. Boss: That's actually the best argument for keeping you around.
Saturday May 27,
2017
Cyborg Makes Wally Unnecessary
Tags automation, cyborg, technology, work ethic
Transcript
Randy: I am using the microchip in my brain to plan the entire project. Okay... done. The rest of you can go back to your cubicles and continue doing nothing. Wally: I spent my entire life getting ready for this sort of future and it's going down easy.
Tuesday May 30,
2017
Wally Has A Doctor's Note
Friday June 16,
2017
75 Slides Too Long
Tags public speaking, presentation, length, brevity, powerpoint
Transcript
Asok: I have 75 slides to discuss in ten minutes. Save your questions to the end. CEO: Sit down and never talk to me again as long as you live. Dilbert: How'd the CEO presentation go? Asok: It was 75 slides too long.
Saturday June 17,
2017
Ceo Likes Asok's Presentation
Tags presentation, public speaking, powerpoint
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO said he liked your presentation. Asok: He made me shut up and sit down before I got to my first slide. Boss: He's not a big fan of content.
Friday July 21,
2017
Make It Hard To Uninstall
Tags customer service, business strategy, sales, deception, business
Transcript
Boss: Don't focus so much on making the software do what our customers want it to do. Just make it hard for users to uninstall it. Dilbert: Why would they buy it in the first place? Boss: A big part of our strategy involves lying.
Saturday July 29,
2017
Swear On The Lives Of Your Coworkers
Tags lying, swearing, exaggeration, deception, accomplishment
Transcript
Wally: I achieved all of my milestones on my secret project this month. Boss: How do I know any of that is true? Wally: I swear on the lives of my coworkers. Boss: I'm getting a mixed message here.

