Use As Excuse Comic Strips - Page 63

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

721 Results for Use As Excuse

View 621 - 630 results for use as excuse comic strips. Discover the best "Use As Excuse" comics from Dilbert.com.

Selfish Team Player

Thank you for voting.
Selfish Team Player - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2015's comic on:


Tags #hypocrisy, #team, #semantics, #flaw, #personality disorder, #success, #selfish, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: If being selfish is necessary for success, how can I claim to be a team player? Wally: I like to use a tool called hypocrisy. Asok: That is actually a character flaw. Wally: Oh. No wonder people are so prickly about it.

Wally's Stress Problem

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Stress Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2015's comic on:


Tags #stress, #health, #work, #employee, #work ethic, #laziness, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I need to take an extended medical leave to deal with my job-related stress. The stress is degrading my cardiovascular system. I could drop dead any minute. Boss: Which part of your job is causing stress? Wally: I think it's the work part.

New Office Layout Will Improve Efficiency

Thank you for voting.
New Office Layout Will Improve Efficiency - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 2015's comic on:


Tags #layout, #office, #desk, #work environment, #efficiency, #catch-22, #loophole, #laziness, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Do you really believe that your plan to change the office layout will boost efficiency? Boss: Of course it will. The physical environment makes a huge difference. Wally: Good. I missed all of my deadlines because of our current office layout is bad.

Employees Keep Agreeing

Thank you for voting.
Employees Keep Agreeing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 2015's comic on:


Tags #furniture, #office, #arrangement, #laziness, #loophole, #efficiency, #management, #work ethic, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I told the employees about our plan to boost productivity by changing the floor layout. Now they claim they can't get their work done because the current floor plan is inefficient. Hoe do I get them to stop agreeing with me? CEO: What do you usually do?

Human Contact Through Social Media

Thank you for voting.
Human Contact Through Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 2015's comic on:


Tags #loneliness, #antisocial, #people, #introvert, #social media, #communication, #isolation, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Wally, does your lifestyle of being useless ever leave you feeling lonely? Wally: That's the old way of thinking, Asok. Now a person can get the benefits of human contact through social media. Asok: Do you use social media? Wally: No. I run a tight ship.

Wally Sees The Problem

Thank you for voting.
Wally Sees The Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2015's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuse, #problem, #expectations

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: You said you would have that done for me by today! Wally: Okay, I think I know what the problem is here. Coworker: You? Wally: That, plus your expectations.

Death By Emoji

Thank you for voting.
Death By Emoji - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2015's comic on:


Tags #emoji, #communication, #miscommunication, #murder, #crime, #deception, #engineers, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I tried to use emoji characters and accidentally ordered two of my engineers to kill Ted. They say they did it. CEO: Did the engineers complain about being too busy to do it? Boss: No. Oh, I see it now. CEO: Total hoax.

Asok Meets Dick

Thank you for voting.
Asok Meets Dick - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2015's comic on:


Tags #mean, #jerk, #internet, #comment, #sarcasm, #forum, #social media, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Someone told me you're the guy who makes all the jerky comments on the Internet. Dick: Oh, really? Someone "told you?" Wow. Have you heard of a thing called science? Asok: It's you! Dick: I'll bet you use a dumb avatar, too.

How It Would Be With Robots In Charge

Thank you for voting.
How It Would Be With Robots In Charge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 2015's comic on:


Tags #technology, #slave, #enslavement, #power, #responsibility, #laziness, #work ethic, #annoyance, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Buwhahahaha! I will use my superior robot brain to enslave humankind! Wally: That probably sounds better than it would actually be. How It Would Be: Wally: I'm tired. I need to recharge. Robot: Gaaaa!!! I hate owning you!

Software Done Next Week

Thank you for voting.
Software Done Next Week - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2016's comic on:


Tags #excuse, #laziness, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are you any farther along with the software? Wally: I discovered an unexpected problem. That set me back a week. Boss: You say the same thing every week. Wally: No one jumps off a winning horse.