Bad Attendence Comic Strips - Page 63

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

643 Results for Bad Attendence

View 621 - 630 results for bad attendence comic strips. Discover the best "Bad Attendence" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #asteroid, #Dogbert, #death, #space, #evil, #golf ball, #dooms day

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands at a desk and Dogbert sits next to a telescope. Dilbert says, "According to my calculations, the asteroid 'Sagnorpt' will collide with earth in 2.3 minutes." Dogbert covers his eyes and screams, "We're all gonna die!" Dogbert hugs Dilbert's legs and shouts, "I'm sorry about all of those bad things I've done to you!" Dogbert cries, "I renounce my evil ways! I dedicate the remaining minute of my life to the poor!!" Dogbert says, "Waitta minute . . . Why aren't you groveling for salvation?" Dilbert replies, "The asteroid is only the size of a golf ball." There's a large crash. Dilbert lies on the floor after the asteroid hits him on the head. Dogbert says, "I probably shouldn't try to read too much into this."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #accounting, #engineer, #breathed, #air, #irreversible, #bad, #attitude, #part, #training, #bradley

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a witch, "No! You can't force me to work in accounting! I'm an engineer!" The witch replies, "It's too late . . ." The witch explains, "You came . . . You breathed the air . . . The change is irreversible . . . Bradley will train you." Spikes grow out of Dilbert's back and he begins to turn into a troll. Dilbert says, "I'm starting to get a bad attitude about this job . . ." Bradley the Troll replies, "Good. I can skip that part of the training."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 1990's comic on:


Tags #finance troll, #bad time, #report, #accounting, #Dilbert, #witch, #figures

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: This must be the company accounting department. I... I need to ask some questions about this b-budget report. Dilbert: Is this a bad time for you? Accounting Witch: Always.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #cult, #connotation, #morons, #lives, #armchair, #bad things

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I think you've taken your cult idea too far." Dogbert sits in a chair with a crown on his head. Dogbert asks, "Who says it's a cult?" Dilbert replies, "YOU said it's a cult!" Dogbert says, "That word has a bad connotation." Dogbert says, "I prefer to think of it as a bunch of morons who have nothing better to do with their lives."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 1990's comic on:


Tags #bad habits, #parallel, #universe, #sea bass, #section, #habit

View Transcript

Transcript

The panel says, "Dilbert presents: Bad Habits From a Parallel Universe!" A maitre d' says to Dilbert and Dogbert, "Table for Phleem?" Dilbert replies, "Yes. In the 'no slapping yourself with a sea bass' section." Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table listening to slapping noises. Dogbert says, "Great, one table away . . ." Dilbert says, "Do you ever wonder about the first person to try that habit?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #stock, #broker, #investor, #chocolate, #coins, #call, #hour

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Ahem . . . I think I'll call my stock broker . . . I'm an investor, you know." Dogbert says, "Ooh . . . I'm impressed." Dilbert says into the telephone, "What? No profits yet? I'll call back in an hour." Dilbert says, "I wonder if this is a bad time to be in chocolate coins."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #shouting, #dinosaurs, #concealing, #spines, #eating

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert arrives at home and asks Bob the Dinosaur, "What's this business of you climbing on the roof and shouting when I'm at work?" Dawn the Dinosaur stands next to Bob. Bob replies, "Sorry. We dinosaurs have always been bad at concealing our feelings . . . In fact . . ." Bob continues, "Honesty caused the extinction of many early species." A large dinosaur holds a small dinosaur. The small animal says, "Don't let the spines fool you; I'm great eating!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 1990's comic on:


Tags #substitute teacher, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #powerless, #marble, #statue, #bad, #biggest, #flock, #pigeons, #animals, #animal behavior

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks Dogbert, "How was your first day as a substitute school teacher?" Dogbert replies, "Imagine feeling completely powerless . . . Like a marble statue . . ." Dilbert says, "Gosh . . . That sounds pretty bad." Dogbert says, "Now imagine the biggest flock of pigeons you ever saw . . ."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #bad, #mood, #innocent, #blame, #plead, #forgiveness, #insult, #Dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on his pillow thinking, "I've got to get out of this bad mood somehow." Dogbert thinks, "I'll have to find somebody innocent to blame . . . And make him plead for my forgiveness." Dilbert says, "Hi, Dogbert." Dogbert asks, "Is that some kind of an insult?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #straight, #bad, #grammar, #intellectuals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert asks Dilbert, "Let me get this straight . . . You say that BAD grammar can become GOOD grammar over time?" Dilbert replies, "Yes. If a bunch of intellectuals start using a word wrong, then it becomes proper in common usage." Dogbert says, "Grammar would be a lot less confusing if we had smarter intellectuals."