Work Ethic Comic Strips - Page 63
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1000 Results for Work Ethic
View 621 - 630 results for work ethic comic strips. Discover the best "Work Ethic" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday June 06,
2013
Tags cats & kittens, physics, famous physicist, zombie
Transcript
Catbert: This is Wulf. He used to work for a famous physicist named Schrodinger. He escaped before the experiment was finished and now he's both alive and dead at the same time. Dilbert: Like a zombie? Catbert: Uh-oh. Wulf: Wow. I have half a mind to be offended by that.
Tuesday June 04,
2013
Tags laziness, work ethic, first draft, blah blah blah, worthless
Transcript
Wally: Let me know if you have any changes to my first draft. Coworker: This literally says the words "blah, blah, blah." Are you lazy? Wally: No, I'm worthless. Lazy would have been one "blah."
Tuesday May 21,
2013
Tags excitement, flattery, respect, companys success
Transcript
Customer Meeting CEO: The secret of our company's success is that we hire good people. Dilbert: What? Are you saying I'm good? I've never heard a compliment at work. What is that feeling inside me? Is it the thing called self-esteem? Customer: Awkward. CEO: Just ignore him. Dilbert: Behold my goodness!
Monday May 20,
2013
Tags coffee & tea, double coffee, success, work ethic, passion, necessary
Transcript
Wally: I'm double-mugging because I heard that passion is necessary for success. By 4pm I'll be so passionate I'll be dating my chair. Catbert: Nothing about that sounded right.
Sunday May 19,
2013
Tags work ethic, replacing system, outdated, gamification, hot new trend, employees wins, badges, ribbons, awrds, cash value, garbage, emotional value
Transcript
Boss: We're replacing our outdated system of annual performance reviews. The new system is called Gramification. It's a hot new trend. Employees can win badges, ribbons, and awards for completing tasks. Dilbert: Can we opt for the cash value of those badges, ribbons, and awards? Boss: They don't have any cash value. Dilbert: Oh. Like garbage? Boss: No, not like garbage! Except in the narrow sense of having no functional, economic, or emotional value. Garbage is something you throw away. Dilbert: Hand me an award and watch carefully.
Monday May 06,
2013
Tags telecommunication lines, work ethic, telecommuting, policy, assignments, disappointed
Transcript
Boss: And you are...? Coworker: I've worked for you for years. I was telecommuting, but now our company policy forbids it, so here I am. Boss: Did I give you any assignments in those four years? Coworker: No, and you can imagine how disappointed I am now.
Saturday May 04,
2013
Tags ignorance (knowledge), managers & supervisors, appear charistmatic, high expectations, character flaws, your end, charisma, business
Transcript
Boss: Experts say I can appear charismatic by setting high expectations. Dilbert: Or maybe you could improve your charisma by fixing your character flaws instead of making me work harder. Boss: No, I'm fairly sure the problem with my charisma is on your end.
Sunday April 28,
2013
Tags frustration, wages, bounuses, usual formula, pure luck, performance, huge consumer demand, bad job, marketing, engineers, bonus, hard wrok, business, money
Transcript
Boss: Your bonuses this year will be based on the usual formula. 50% is based on pure luck. And 50% is based on the performance of people you have never met. This year, the luck factor was good. Our industry experienced huge consumer demand. Unfortunately, people who you have never met did a bad job of marketing and sales are terrible. And for that, you engineers must be punished. No bonuses for you. Luckily for me, my bonus is based on how well I can convince you idiots to work hard while getting no bonuses. I don't like to brag, but I'm fairly sure I'm nailing it.
Thursday April 25,
2013
Tags choosing, Family, work ethic, work hard, anything you want, moron parents
Transcript
Boss: My parents taught me that if I worked hard, I could be anything I wanted. Alice: And you chose... this? His parents sound like morons. Dilbert: Maybe he didn't work hard.
Tuesday April 23,
2013
Tags apathy, marketing guy, customers, write fiction, biographies, daily lives, typical customers, drown in aquariums
Transcript
Marketing Guy: We need to know how our customers live and work. I'd like each of you to write fictional biographies that describe the daily lives of our typical customers. I feel you're not taking this seriously. Dilbert: Most of our customers drown in aquariums. The Marketing Guy. Five Minutes Later.


