Call Marketing Comic Strips - Page 63
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670 Results for Call Marketing
View 621 - 630 results for call marketing comic strips. Discover the best "Call Marketing" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday October 03,
2015
Tags #idea, #brainstorm, #bald, #baldness, #hat, #steal, #patent, #invention
Transcript
CEO: I thought of a product idea that could solve the baldness epidemic. Imagine an opaque material in the shape of a dome that puts the top of one's head in stealth mode. Dilbert: We could call it a "hat." CEO: Stop trying to steal my idea!
Sunday December 27,
2015
Tags #sales personnel, #salesman, #sales, #honesty, #deception, #stragegy, #sociopath, #lying, #lie, #business
Transcript
Man: I need you to join me on a sales call to tell my customer how easy it will be to switch to our software. Dilbert: It isn't easy. Man: This is a sales call. All you need to do is say everything will be easy. Dilbert: What happens when they find out it isn't easy? Man: They won't find out until after they pay us. Dilbert: What will you do when they complain? Man: I'll tell your boss you misled them. Dilbert: Not if I warn him first! Man: Too late. I already told him you're a liar.
Monday December 14,
2015
Dilbert Can Tweak The Software
Tags #sales, #sales personnel, #demands, #rules, #promise, #restrictions, #obliviousness, #business
Transcript
The Sales Call. Salesman: If you need any tweaks to the software, Dilbert can do that in minutes. Dilbert: I'm not allowed to tweak the software for one customer. Salesman: He'll do it anyway. Dilbert: I'm going to report you.
Saturday January 30,
2016
Asok Not A Terrorist
Tags #terrorist, #terrorism, #extremism, #frustration, #racism, #accusation, #accuse
Transcript
Boss: Did you threaten to kill Dick? Asok: He accused me of being a terrorist! Boss: Are you? Asok: Gaaa! I just want to blow up this whole building! Boss: Um... I need to make a call. Asok: It better not be about me!
Thursday June 02,
2016
Boss Can't Decide Who To Vote For
Tags #election, #voting, #choice, #choosing, #decision, #indecision, #judgement
Transcript
Boss: I can't decide who to vote for in this election. Alice: Make your voting decision the same way you make your work decisions. Boss: Common sense and gut instinct? Alice: We just call it "wrong."
Tuesday June 21,
2016
Wally Builds An Mvp Version
Tags #ai, #technology, #fake, #deception
Transcript
Wally: I built a minimum viable product, or MVP, as I like to call it. Boss: That's a block of wood. Wally: I call it "Artificial Intelligence." Ask it any question. Boss: What is my middle name? Wally: It's being shy, just like people. Boss: It has emotions,too?
Monday July 04,
2016
Mom Drone
Tags #drone, #surveillance, #mom, #mothers, #spying
Transcript
Asok: Hey, you have one of those cool selfie drones! Dilbert: No, I keep forgetting to call my mom, so she sent a drone to watch me. Asok: Is that legal? Dilbert: I checked. It's not trespassing unless it lands.
Sunday July 10,
2016
Tags #Advice, #workload, #stress, #counseling
Transcript
Dilbert: I have too much work, and it's stressing me out. Boss: I've been reading about this sort of situation. Try writing don all the things that make you feel grateful. Dilbert: That would be more work! Boss: For your anger issues, try keeping a journal of all the times you lose your temper. Dilbert: That would be more work! Has anyone ever taken your advice? Boss: Do you know the guy in Marketing with the eye patch? Dilbert: He followed your advice? Boss: Half of it.
Thursday August 25,
2016
Dogbert Discovers Dogbertium
Tags #science, #discovery, #trick, #deception
Transcript
Dogbert: My particle accelerator has discovered a new fundamental particle that I call "Dogbertium." It's properties are awesomeness and mystery. One of the mysteries is that it only exists when people don't ask too many questions.
Friday September 09,
2016
Ask The Other Director
Tags #reorganization, #logic, #managers, #solutions, #cheating
Transcript
Dilbert: I tried to get approval from the head of Marketing, but the reorg makes it impossible. The outgoing director says I need to ask the incoming directory, but that person hasn't been named. Boss: Bring me solutions, not problems. Dilbert: Forgery it is.