List Of Employees Comic Strips - Page 63

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

717 Results for List Of Employees

View 621 - 630 results for list of employees comic strips. Discover the best "List Of Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.

Pill For Boss Conversations

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pill For Boss Conversations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mental health, #mental illness, #crazy, #managers, #sanity, #insane

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Catbert thinks I'm causing mental problems in my employees. That's crazy, right? Carol: Hold that thought. My doctor prescribed pills for when I have to talk to you.

Anger Issues

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Anger Issues - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger issues, #listen to crazy people, #mental problems, #work weekend, #crazy people

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Im worried that all of my employees might have mental problems. The Boss: They exhibited anger issues when I told them to work all weekend for no extra pay. CatBert: Did they say you're the cause off their mental problems? The Boss: I dont listen to crazy people.

Compensation Based On Happiness

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Compensation Based On Happiness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #happiness, #company culture, #raise, #wages, #job satisfaction, #compensation, #psychology, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: From now on, your compensation will be a function of your baseline happiness. We don't want to waste money giving raises to employees who won't get any happier no matter what we do. Dilbert: This plan makes me unhappy. Boss: Nice try, but you were already unhappy.

Story Telling Mothman

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Story Telling Mothman - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mothman, #workload, #responsibility, #stress, #story, #talking

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a storytelling mothman. He identifies with employees with the greatest workloads and wastes their time telling long stories. Dilbert: We don't need a storytelling mothman. Boss: Then why does every company have one?

Team Building Dance

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Team Building Dance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #team-building, #dance, #rules, #restrictions, #Fun

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This year's team-building event will be a dance. No alcohol will be served. The event is for employees only, and you're not allowed to touch each other. Have a great time. Dilbert: How?

Elbonian Interference

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Interference - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hacker, #hacking, #trolls, #protest, #counter-protest, #obliviousness, #manipulation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Uh-oh. I think we are being attacked by an Elbonian troll farm. They're organizing an employee protest against management and... a management counter-protest against employees. Luckily, no one here is stupid enough to... Boss: Down with employees!

Ai For Productivity

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ai For Productivity - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #meeting, #productivity, #obliviousness, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We started using A.I. to identify when employees are unproductive. Device: Ping ping ping ping ping ping. Boss: Looks like this meeting is setting off some alarms.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #unhealthy, #exercise, #mouse

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: All of your employees are fat and unhealthy. That's why you should replace your outdated cubicles with treadmill desks. My company makes a treadmill desk that requires no electricity. The Boss: What if the employees don't like it? Dogbert: They already hate everything about their jobs there's no real downside. The Boss: Good point. Dogbert: I know. I'll send you one of our demo units so you can test it out. The boss: I finally feel as if I'm getting somewhere.

Speaking Truth To Power

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Speaking Truth To Power - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ted, #the boss, #performance review, #perform, #power

View Transcript

Transcript

Performance Review The Boss: I've seen a lot of employees in my day, and you are definitely one of them. Ted: Are you saying generic things because you don't know what my job is or how well I performed? The boss: And... You speak truth to power. Ted: Please stop.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #draft, #same day, #sloth, #tardiness

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I told you a week ago that I needed your first draft by today. This is exactly why I say bad things about you behind your back! I need employees I can rely on! Your tardiness and sloth cannot be rewarded. Dilbert: I gave you the first draft the same day you asked. In fact, I think you're holding it in your hand right now. The Boss: I'll be back when I figure out how this is still your fault.