Mom Can Use Comic Strips - Page 63

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661 Results for Mom Can Use

View 621 - 630 results for mom can use comic strips. Discover the best "Mom Can Use" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Uses His Gut

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Boss Uses His Gut - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2016's comic on:


Tags #gut, #instinct, #decision, #deciding, #logic, #stomach, #mouth, #guest artist, #joel friday

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Boss: Your analysis does not conform to my preconceived notions. So my gut instinct is telling me that you are wrong. Dilbert: When your gut talks to you, what does it use for a mouth?

The Science Of Astrology

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The Science Of Astrology - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2016's comic on:


Tags #Astrology, #metaphysics, #science, #planning, #sign, #zodiac, #pseudoscience

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Carol: I'll need to know your astrological sign before I put you on his schedule. In the old days, I just gave people the first available slot. It was chaos. Dilbert: So now you use the science of astrology? Carol: It's better than science. It's an art.

Wally's Useless Nonsense

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Wally's Useless Nonsense - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2016's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #strategy

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Catbert: There's a rumor that you use a chatbot to reply to email with useless nonsense. Wally: You can't prove that because I've always answered my email with useless nonsense. Catbert: That was disturbingly well-played. Wally: It's all about creating the base case.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 2016's comic on:


Tags #goals, #accomplishment, #consciousness, #death, #achievement, #medical

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Dilbert: Do you have any long-term goals? Wally: Just death. Dilbert: Death isn't a goal. Wally: It's the best kind. This way, I can go out as a winner. With my last breath, I plan to do a fist pump and yell, "I did it!" What's your long-term plan? Dilbert: I plan to use brain imaging technology to map my mind. Then I'll create a digital copy of myself to live forever in a software simulation. Unless I already did. Wally: Give yourself a fist pump, just in case.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #technology, #learning, #education, #tutorial, #frustration

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Dilbert: I love living in a world where everything I need to know is on the Internet. I'll just hop over to YouTube and learn how to use my new app. Perfect! I can choose from over a hundred different tutorials! It will only take me an hour or so to figure out which one refers to my version of the software. Narrator: One hour later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! These videos are poorly labeled! Narrator: Two hours later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! This guy talks too slowly! Get to the point! Narrator: Three hours later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Why are my menu options different from the tutorial? I hate living in a world where everything I need to know is on the Internet.

Addictive Apps

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Addictive Apps - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #technology, #app, #zombie, #mindlessness, #cell phone, #marketing, #business

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Boss: Our plan is to use design psychology to make our apps more addictive. Ideally, we want to strip people of their free will and turn them into mindless upgrading zombies. Dilbert: I'd feel better if we called that "marketing." Boss: I need you to be more mindless, too.

Dogbert's Particle Accelerator

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Dogbert's Particle Accelerator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2016's comic on:


Tags #scheme, #plan, #deception, #trick, #science, #invention

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Dogbert: I built a particle accelerator in the basement. Dilbert: Sounds expensive. Dogbert: Not if you use cardboard. My plan is to say I discovered one new particle per week. When scientists fail to confirm my discoveries, I will say they need better accelerators.

Phil From Heck And The Speakerphone

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Phil From Heck And The Speakerphone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2016's comic on:


Tags #annoying, #foibles, #pet peeve, #habit, #office, #cubicle

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Phil, The Prince Of Insufficient Light. Phil: I have a report that you use your speakerphone in a cubicle environment. Alice: In my defense, I only do it because of my total disregard for others. Phil: Sounds fair. That's why I do it too. Alice: Take your spoon and leave.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 2016's comic on:


Tags #insult, #meeting, #tardiness, #punctual, #badmouth, #business

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Dilbert: It seems that everyone but Ted made it to this meeting. If we proceed without Ted, our decisions will be underinformed. If we try to reschedule a meeting with all of us, we will miss the critical deadline. Thanks to Ted, we have two ways to lose and no way to win. I say we use this time to say bad things about Ted to make ourselves feel better. I'll start. Ted is a lazy, selfish loser, If I could travel through time, I would prevent Ted's parents from meeting. Don't look at me like I'm the one who came late.

Boss Makes Dilbert Get Buy In

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Boss Makes Dilbert Get Buy In - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 2016's comic on:


Tags #managers, #purpose, #use, #useful, #threat

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Boss: I'll approve this if you get buy-in from the rest of the department. Dilbert: What value are you adding to that scenario? Boss: I'm not firing you. Dilbert: In that case, keep up the good work.