Nose Job Comic Strips - Page 63

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991 Results for Nose Job

View 621 - 630 results for nose job comic strips. Discover the best "Nose Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

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"If I buy this, how can I be sure you won't come out with a newer version next week?" "I give you my word as a job-hopping commission junky with a gambling problem." "And even if we did have a newer version, it sure wouldn't fix any of the problems that this one has."

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"I want employees who are passionate!" "GIVE ME THIS JOB OR SO HELP ME GOD, I WILL CUT OFF MY EAR!" "And I'm a people person."

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"Hello, tech support, my computer is frozen." "Try hanging up and slamming your hand in a drawer." "How's work?" "My average call time is down and my job satisfaction is up."

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"Wally, how do you cope with the soul-crushing futility of this job?" "One day I realized that sadness is just another word for not enough coffee." "What got into you?"

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"Asok, this is Albert. He's old but we need to call him mature." "Explain to him what the computers are, but don't let him touch anything. The elderly like to fiddle." "I was a chip designer in my last job." "Really? Chocolate or poker?"

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You work in a cubicle while your routers and servers have a private office with their own climate control. "The machines have taken over. Your job is to provide them with electricity." "And do you think those electronic voting machines care about your opinion?"

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You can't have a side job of drawing a comic strip about the workplace. "I should fire you for mocking the management of this company in newspapers." "Because then I'd mock you less?"

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"My side job as a cartoonist is doing well, so this is my resignation." "My new career involves sitting around in my pajamas and thinking of ways to ridicule you." "Actually, it's not so much a letter of resignation as it is a drawing of your body with a manure head."

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I can monitor the company's key metrics from my executive dashboard. "Uh-oh. I need to do a better job of falsifying my data." "Allow me to set the stage for your next assignment by reminding you that stockholders have never done anything for you."

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Tags software, budget, computer, tiny mittens, thermometer, hell, your turn, nice guy, intern, abused, mean coworkers, technology, engineering

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Asok: I need this software to do my job. The Boss: "The software budget is spent. Just share a computer with someone who has this software." Alice: "Why don't you take your tiny mittens and a thermometer to hell and wait for a sign that it's your turn."