Pay Same Comic Strips - Page 63

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

631 Results for Pay Same

View 621 - 630 results for pay same comic strips. Discover the best "Pay Same" comics from Dilbert.com.

Radical Candor

Thank you for voting.
Radical Candor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 2018's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #management, #radical condor, #time, #computer

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I've decided to adopt a hot new management trend called, "Radical Condor." The trick is to be direct yet kind at the same time. Dilbert: What were you doing before? The Boss: Let's not get into that.

Coworkers Getting Dumber

Thank you for voting.
Coworkers Getting Dumber - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #Dilbert, #imagination, #co-workers, #dumber, #know

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Is it my imagination or are my co-workers getting dumber every day? Catbert: They aren't getting dumber. You're just getting to know them better. It looks the same.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #test, #scripts, #software, #project, #hardware, #tests, #version, #final, #release, #volunteering, #testing, #player

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I need someone to run some test scripts on the new software. Dilbert: I can do that my project is on hold until the new hardware arrives. The Boss: Great, I'll need you to run the same tests on every version until final release. Dilbert: Um... I was only volunteering to do it once it isn't my job to do all the testing. The Boss: Too late. You're the test script guy now. Dilbert: You're adding an entirely new job to my existing job! The Boss: Don't you want to be a team player? Dilbert: Of course I do. The Boss: Good. I just put you on the losing team.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #business, #criticism, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I'm thinking of getting a degree in business and moving onto the management track. Is it fun being a boss? Boss: It's the best! I haven't done anything hard since the day I got this job. I mostly just criticize idiots all day long. It's as if the company is paying me to do my hobby. Speaking of pay, my salary is about triple your pay. Asok: Is there any downside? Boss: I had a lot of guilt at first. Asok: It must have been awful. Boss: Yes, it was the longest ten minutes of my life.

Punishing For Others

Thank you for voting.
Punishing For Others - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 2018's comic on:


Tags #employment, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We've decided to level the organization. This means a slight pay cut for senior engineers such as yourself, but I hope you'll be a team player. Dilbert: Are you punishing me for the mediocrity of others? Boss: Only indirectly.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #communication, #frustrated, #office, #office workers, #talking

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Did Alice talk to you about the cost estimates? Ted: Mumble mumble. Dilbert: I can't hear you. Ted: Mumble mumble!!! Dilbert: Now you're just mumbling louder. Ted: Mumble mumble. Dilbert: Maybe you could turn toward me when you mumble and I can try to read your lips. Ted: Mumble mumble. Dilbert: I'm getting something about grapes, windshields, asthma, and blockchain. Ted: I didn't say any of those things. Dilbert: Okay. I understood that sentence. Now answer my question the same way. Ted: Mumble mumble.

Keeping The Worthless People

Thank you for voting.
Keeping The Worthless People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #salary, #incompetence

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I've noticed that 20% of my employees do 80% of the work around here. But I need to keep all of the worthless employees because my pay is based on how many people report to me. Catbert: Doesn't their incompetence bother you? Boss: Not since I found a way to get paid for it.

Ai Is Stupid For An Hour

Thank you for voting.
Ai Is Stupid For An Hour - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2019's comic on:


Tags #intelligence, #robot, #sarcasm, #social media, #stupidity, #technology, #twitter, #humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Your so-called breakthrough in artificial intelligence is a fraud. I talked to it for an hour, and everything it said was stupid. Wait...that's the same as using Twitter. Dilbert: Is it too soon to call me a genius?

Take The Stairs

Thank you for voting.
Take The Stairs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2019's comic on:


Tags #birthdays, #encouragement, #exercise & fitness, #health, #office, #office workers, #company, #life insurance

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The company encourages you to take the stairs instead of the elevator because it is good for your health. Ted: I take the elevator because my life insurance doesn't pay off if I kill myself all at once. Boss: On another topic, we will celebrate birthdays this month with cake in the break room. Ted: Perfect.

Wally Needs A Raise

Thank you for voting.
Wally Needs A Raise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #system, #architect, #Promotion, #pay raise

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: our new system installation is a catastrophe. wally: we need to tear it out and re-architect it from scratch. wally: i'm the only person qualified to lead that effort. wally: but given the enormity of the job, i won't do it without a raise or promotion. the boss: weren't you the cause of the catastrophe? wally: exactly: that's why i'm the only person who knows how to fix it. the boss: are you blackmailing me? wally: no, it's nothing like that. the boss: wouldn't i be rewarding you for failure? wally: let's not label it.