Run Away Comic Strips - Page 63
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628 Results for Run Away
View 621 - 628 results for run away comic strips. Discover the best "Run Away" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday August 10,
2020
Meeting Ending Invention
Tags #managers & supervisors, #invent, #app, #application, #ring, #phone, #meeting, #strategic, #direction, #face mask
Transcript
dilbert: i invented an app that makes your phone ring to get you out of meetings. boss: how does that fit our strategic direction? dilbert's phone: bing, bing, bing! dilbert walking away: i need to take this call.
Monday October 05,
2020
Astrology Filter
Tags #apathy, #Astrology, #business, #incoherent, #sense, #strategic, #technology
Transcript
dilbert looking at laptop: your strategic technology plan was incoherent. i had to run it through an astrology filter to make sense out of it. boss video conferencing: and? dilbert: it says you are "full of taurus" and your plan "is a cancer." boss: sounds right.
Tuesday November 03,
2020
Boss Bluffs On Blockchain
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #blockchain, #byte, #code, #consensus, #bluff
Transcript
boss in meeting: i'm no expert on blockchain, but i think... we need to get the evm stack on the bytecode so we don't run into a consensus fork. boss to ted: did that mean anything? ted: don't ask me. i'm bluffing too.
Sunday December 06,
2020
Wally Answers Texts Later
Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #lazy, #working, #ignore, #text, #email, #response, #data
Transcript
asok: i rarely see you working. how do you get away with it? wally: it's easy. i just wait a day before answering any texts or emails. for example, here's alice asking if i can attend a meeting in an hour. i'll answer her in the morning and say i didn't see her message. And here's dilbert asking me for some data. tomorrow, i will text him to ask for clarification, and he will tell me he found the data on his own. asok: don't you feel guilty? wally: nah. they'd do the same to me. asok: and do they? wally: they would if i didn't ignore them first.
Sunday December 13,
2020
Assigning Dilbert To Project
Tags #business, #technology, #network, #redesign, #project, #phase, #positive, #optimistic, #assign, #sarcasm
Transcript
boss: dilbert, i'm assigning you to the network redesign project. dilbert: what phase is that project in? is it in the initial stage, in which everyone is feeling positive and optimistic? or is it in the middle phase, in which everyone is finding away and hating the other team members? boss: it's in the death spiral phase. everyone is trying to assign blame to someone they already hate. they requested that i add you to the team. dilbert: to save the project? boss: um...okay, sure.
Monday November 23,
2020
Share Your Screen
Tags #embarrassment, #technology, #business, #office, #video conference, #zoom, #share, #screen, #quit
Transcript
dilbert looking at laptop on video conference voice from laptop: let me share my screen and i'll...uh-oh. oops. not that screen. don't judge me! how do i make it go away?!!! gaaa!!! i can't take the embarrassment! i quit! Dogbert and dilbert in another room dogbert: how was your zoom call? dilbert: best one ever.
Friday April 16,
2021
Nickname For Dilbert
Monday June 14,
2021
Elbonian Hackers Attack
Tags #business, #business ethics, #elbonian, #hackers, #attack, #stole, #database, #ranking, #employee, #haircuts, #sarcasm
Transcript
dilbert: elbonian hackers stole our employee performance ranking database, and now they demand a ransom payment to give it back. boss: they can keep it. we've been ranking employees solely on their haircuts for years, and no one has complained yet. dilbert: what? boss walking away: we will speak of this no more.