Talking To Much Comic Strips - Page 63

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View 621 - 630 results for talking to much comic strips. Discover the best "Talking To Much" comics from Dilbert.com.

Estimating Finish Times

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Estimating Finish Times - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2016's comic on:


Tags #website, #internet, #developer, #code, #coding, #deadline, #time, #deception, #lying, #technology

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Boss: I'm having trouble managing our web developer because I don't know how long things are supposed to take. Does it really take nine months to change the font on the home page? Developer: How much do I owe you? Dilbert: Tell him my project normally takes two years.

Different Time Estimates

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Different Time Estimates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 2016's comic on:


Tags #quote, #estimate, #time, #deadline, #length, #pessimism

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Boss: I'm getting wildly different estimates for how long it will take to write the software. Dilbert: Based on my experience, I say take the longest estimate and multiply it by three. Boss: Is experience exactly the same as pessimism? Dilbert: Experience is much worse.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 04, 2016's comic on:


Tags #scam, #language, #accent, #communication

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Dogbert: I'm starting a foreign accent schools for the lazy. People assume you're smarter when you know more than one language. But learning a new language takes too much work. So I'll teach you how to speak your own language with a foreign accent. People will assume you are bilingual at the very least. And when you use bad grammar with a foreign accent it makes you look adorable. You'll never need to do another courtesy laugh, either. People will just assume you didn't get the joke. Dilbert: This is one of your better ideas. Dogbert: You should hear it with an accent!

Car Rental Typing

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Car Rental Typing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #logic, #efficiency, #car rental, #frustration

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Car Rental. Man: I hope you don't have some sort of technology job. Dilbert: Why? Man: Because the user experience you are about to endure might make your head explode. Narrator: Twenty minutes later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Why do you need to type so much?!!! Man: We got an engineer!

Ceo Fixes His Problem

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Ceo Fixes His Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 2016's comic on:


Tags #product safety, #danger, #battery, #recall, #cell phone, #samsung, #media, #Entertainment, #technology

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CEO: The press says I need to resign because of our exploding phones fiasco. Dilbert: Maybe you can change their minds by sending the press our new model that doesn't explode. CEO: I already sent them the exploding phones and said it was our new models. Your way left too much to chance.

Cartoonist As Spokesperson

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Cartoonist As Spokesperson - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #spokesperson, #embarrassment, #celebrity, #promoter, #product

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Boss: We're looking for a celebrity spokesperson, but we don't have much budget for it. All we can afford is a cartoonist. Can you do the job for $75? Scott Adams: Deal! Boss: Have you ever done anything on social media that would embarrass us? Scott Adams: I thought that's what it's for.

Asok Has Worst Job In The World

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Asok Has Worst Job In The World - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2016's comic on:


Tags #hit man, #job, #happiness, #satisfaction, #doppelganger, #double, #lookalike, #business, #psychology

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Asok: I thought I accidentally killed the creator of Garfield, but it turns out I killed his body double. Our boss ordered me to do the hit. I have the worst job in the world. Dilbert: No, I think that body double has the worst job. Asok: I'm only talking about the living.

Ted Is Doing A Terrible Job

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Ted Is Doing A Terrible Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2017's comic on:


Tags #talking, #conversation, #boring, #annoy, #quitting, #boredom

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Boss: Ted is doing a terrible job. Catbert: Maybe you should talk to him. Boss: What should I say? Catbert: It doesn't matter. Five minutes of listening to you will make him want to quit. Boss: That's crazy enough to work. Catbert: You've only been here for two minutes and my tail is asleep.

Boss Tweets Fake News

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Boss Tweets Fake News - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2017's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #mobile (cell) phones, #talk, #window

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The department of education asked us to talk to you about all of your tweeting. You tweeted so much fake news that the average I.Q. in the country plunged seven points. That doesn't hurt anyone. You tweeted "seat belts are designed to strangle survivors so they won't sue."

Days Off Versus More Pay

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Days Off Versus More Pay - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #catch-22, #wages, #trick question, #vacation, #compensation, #money

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Boss: Would you rather have more days off or more pay? Alice: Days off. Dilbert: Days off. Wally: Days off. Boss: You were right-- we're paying them too much.