Office Politics Comic Strips - Page 64
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1000 Results for Office Politics
View 631 - 640 results for office politics comic strips. Discover the best "Office Politics" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday October 26,
2015
Employees Keep Agreeing
Tags furniture, office, arrangement, laziness, loophole, efficiency, management, work ethic, excuse
Transcript
Boss: I told the employees about our plan to boost productivity by changing the floor layout. Now they claim they can't get their work done because the current floor plan is inefficient. Hoe do I get them to stop agreeing with me? CEO: What do you usually do?
Tuesday November 17,
2015
Give Up On Making Them Happy
Tags happiness, deception, perspective, work, office, marriage, psychology, relationships
Transcript
Boss: I'm giving up on trying to keep them happy. My new plan is to tell them things are worse everywhere else. Catbert: Will that work? Boss: It worked on my wife.
Thursday January 21,
2016
Humans Hold Domininion
Tags temperature, humans, nature, thermostat, robots, technology, evolution, fragility
Transcript
Dilbert: My brain won't work when the office is warmer than 72. Carol: It has to be at least 74 or I'll freeze. Robot: What's it like to hold dominion over the Earth within a narrow band of temperatures that can't coexist? Dilbert: Was that a joke? Carol: I'm too cold to think?
Sunday May 01,
2016
Tags election, voting, technology, fraud, cheating, vote, Politics
Transcript
Boss: We won a contract to write software for voting machines. Dilbert: Who do you want to be president? Boss: Why do you ask? Dilbert: Because I want you to be happy. Boss: You're implying that you plan to fudge the system. Dilbert: I'm not implying anything like that. Obviously, it will be easy to fudge the data, and we are far happier when you're in a good mood. But I would never commit a crime just because it is good for ma and totally undetectable. Boss: Okay, good. Dilbert: So who do you want to win and by how much?
Monday May 09,
2016
Loud Howard And Tina Have A Romance
Wednesday May 11,
2016
Company Policy About Dating
Tags dating, relationships, office romance, policy, legal issues, human resources, business
Transcript
Catbert: Rumor has it that you are dating a co-worker named Loud Howard. Company policy requires you to register your lustful feelings with our legal department. Lawyer: Okay, I think we have you covered, but the stapling phase will sting a little.
Sunday May 29,
2016
Tags coworkers, workspace, noise, cubicle, open floorplan, etiquette, fingernails, toenails
Transcript
Boss: Did you finish the slide deck? Alice: I tried, but it was impossible. Some idiot in a nearby cubicle was clipping his nails. It was like torture. Clip, clip, clip, clip, clip. I couldn't think with that noise polluting the office air. I thought it ended, but then I heard some shoes and socks come off. It was my worst nightmare. Boss: Okay, whatever. Wally, did you finish your tasks? Wally: I tried, but then I notice that my nails were uneven.
Monday May 30,
2016
Smart People Are On Both Sides
Tags Politics, intelligence, appearances, perspective
Transcript
Dilbert: Have you ever noticed that there are smart people on both sides of every political issue? Boss: Maybe it only seems that way to you because you're not one of the smart ones. Dilbert: Do I seem smart? Wally: I didn't realize you were trying.
Wednesday June 01,
2016
Wally's Political Opinion
Tags internet, social media, Opinion, Politics, knowing too much, technology
Transcript
Tina: I saw your political opinion on Facebook and now I think you're an awful person. Wally: What did you think about me before? Tina: I didn't think about you before. Wally: Sounds like I got promoted.
Friday June 03,
2016
Deciding Which Liar You Prefer
Tags choosing, choices, voting, election, Politics
Transcript
Boss: I can't decide if I want to vote for the liar with the budget plan that doesn't add up or... the other liar with a budget plan that doesn't add up. Dogbert: Have you tried using your ignorance to figure out which one is lying the least? Boss: Ooh, that could work.


