Company Comic Strips - Page 64
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882 Results for Company
View 631 - 640 results for company comic strips. Discover the best "Company" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday October 16,
2010
Tags intern, pretend, owner, yell, mouth open, fire, annoyed, surprise, power, apologize, point
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Asok, I want you to make decision as if you owned the company." Asok says, "Clear out your desk, you worthless bag of meat!" Asok says, "Sorry. The fake power went to my head for a moment."
Wednesday November 24,
2010
Tags computer, headset, marketing research, social security number, bank pin, maiden name, poverty, identity theft, technology
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Hello, this is the Dogbert Market Research Company. May I ask you some totally harmless questions?" Dogbert says, "What is your social security number, bank pin number and mother's maiden name?" Dilbert says, "What exactly are you researching?" Dogbert says, "Poverty rates. I'm shooting for 100%."
Wednesday December 29,
2010
Tags avoid ansering, emails, unhelpful moron, poorly designed robot, terminate ecompnay, robot
Transcript
Alice says, "I've noticed that whenever I ask you a specific question by email, you avoid answering it." Alice says, "You're either an unhelpful moron or a poorly designed robot sent from the future to terminate our company." Dilbert says, "How did you know it was a robot?" Alice says, "I didn't."
Thursday December 30,
2010
Tags competitor from future, terminate company, issue, time travle, robot building skills, zombies
Transcript
Dilbert says, "A competitor from the future is sending robots back in time to terminate our company." Dilbert says, "So far it's not much of an issue because their time travel technology is way ahead of their robot-building skills." Wally says, "Is that as fun as it looks?" Alice says, "Totally. They're like zombies, but crunchier."
Monday January 03,
2011
Tags environmental issues, children, interviews, Family
Transcript
The Boss says, "Jim, our company is family-friendly and very green." The Boss says, "We're also good at setting priorities, so if I get a chance to sell your kids for a handful of carbon credits, I'll do it." The Boss says, "He was less green than I had hoped."
Sunday February 06,
2011
Tags annoying music, buying deciosn, clutter design, cubicle, eacape, images, look ugly, ne wpordcut, no information, portfolio, stock holders, website, work till death, technology
Transcript
The Boss: Dilbert, work with Gustav to get our new product explained on our website. Gustav: Heres what I have so far. Dilbert: Its awful. Gustav: excuse me? Dilbert: there no information. Its all images and annoying music. Dilbert: People make buying decisions based on what they read. This gives them nothing, Gustav: If I clutter the design with useful information, it will look ugly ad I won't be able to use it in my portfolio. I need that portfolio to get a job at a better company, Please help me escape. Gustav: You'll probably work here until you die in your cubicle no matter what the website looks like. The Boss: Did you help Gustav? Dilbert: yes, But it wasn't a good day for our stock holders.
Thursday February 10,
2011
Tags executives, meetings, Dogbert, consulting, facebook, china, irrelevant, breakout groups, fantasize, being relevant
Transcript
Dogbert Consults Dogbert: "Where does your company fit on this comprehensive list?" Facebook, China, Irrelevant Dogbert says, "Now let's form breakout groups to fantasize about being relevant."
Tuesday February 22,
2011
Tags lawyers & attorneys, legal advice, chain reaction, future visionary leader not being born, maintenance agreement, stabbing gandhi
Transcript
Company Lawyer Dilbert says, "I need your legal advice." Lawyer says, "There's a risk that this could cause a chain reaction that results in a future visionary leader not being born." Dilbert says, "It's just a maintenance agreement." Lawyer says, "It's like stabbing Gandhi."
Friday February 25,
2011
Tags context, contracts, harvest organs, holes in contract, software contract, signed contract, holes in torso
Transcript
Company Lawyer Dilbert says, "I signed a software contract without getting your input because I was in a hurry." Dilbert says, "Now the software company claims they can harvest my organs." Dilbert says, "Do you see any holes in their contract?" Lawyer says, "They mention holes... in the context of your torso."
Sunday April 03,
2011
Tags executives, interviews, ceo's interview series, company priftable, credit, overpaid and useless, dumb employees, highest bidder, blackmail, interview
Transcript
Dogbert says, "I don't like people." Dogbert says, "What makes your company so profitable?" CEO says, "I give all of the credit to our fine employees." Dogbert says, "Is that another way of saying you're overpaid and useless?" CEO says, "Um... no. I'm their leader. I set the direction." Dogbert says, "Because the employees are too dumb to set their own direction?" CEO says, "No! They're smart!" Dogbert says, "But not as smart as you?" CEO says, "Who's going to see this?" Dogbert says, "No one, assuming you're the highest bidder." Dogbert's CEO Interview Series


