Computer Message Comic Strips - Page 64
709 Results for Computer Message
View 631 - 640 results for computer message comic strips. Discover the best "Computer Message" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share August 13, 2012's comic on:
Boss: You're supposed to be cold calling sales prospects. Wally: I am. I'm using a video chat site to randomly meet potential customers. This guy is excited to see me, and that's half of the sales job right here.
Share August 22, 2012's comic on:
Boss: And we're going to bet the company on our new software product. Dilbert: While you were talking, Google created that product, gave it away for free, and killed it for lack of interest. Wally: Is it too soon to take back my fake buy-in?
Share September 03, 2012's comic on:
Mordac: I, Mordac, the preventer of information services, reject your business case because you used the old template. Ha ha ha! I feed on your anger and frustration! And now I will eat like a king! Dilbert: Good luck with that. I've been dead on the inside since the teamwork seminar. Mordac: Sheesh. I'm living on goldfish crackers.
Share September 04, 2012's comic on:
Boss: I don't have a budget for the network monitoring software you need, so you'll have to write it yourself. Dilbert: Good plan. I'll check back with you when I'm done doing that. What's your calendar look like in the year 2040? Boss: Sort of a grid with square boxes.
Share November 06, 2012's comic on:
Man: There's nothing you can do about your company's long slide toward irrelevance. But if you redesign your logo and produce a tablet computer that no one buys, at least it will look like you're trying. CEO: Who are you? Man: I'm the ugly truth. Most people just ignore me.
Share December 24, 2012's comic on:
Boss: I hired the Dogbert Ad Company to build some deceptive and abusive ads for our mobile app. Dogbert: I prefer to call our ads "effective." It means the same thing. Our most effective ad looks like a text message from your doctor saying he can't stop crying.
Share January 20, 2013's comic on:
Dilbert: I can't hear you. There's too much background noise and echo in your end. Computer: Gerple Murmp. Dilbert: I see a smudgy thing that might be your head, but I don't know what you're saying. Your accent is too thick. I can't... Computer: Muwa flamel guapen. Dilbert: I didn't understand what you said, and I can't tell which one of you is talking. Why don't... Computer: Urgam... Dilbert: Okay, you go. Computer: Ekplum. Dilbert: What? Computer: Mungow. Dilbert: Did you say... Computer: Plurb. Dilbert: You're acting as if I agreed to something, but I don't even know what the topic is. I see you waving goodbye, so you must think we're done. Boss: Was your call a success? Dilbert: Better than anything I've done all week.
Share January 23, 2013's comic on:
CEO: I have a vision that our next product will be a tablet computer the size of a dime. Users will lick it and attach it to their eyeballs. Can you finish that in a month? Dilbert: I can fail at any speed you like.
Share January 24, 2013's comic on:
Our model XR35 is the only one that will work in your situation. The other models would be nightmares. Dilbert: Okay, we'll take the XR35. Ted: Opps it appears we are out of stock. Dilbert: This is the part where your credibility comes into question. Ted: Have you looked at ethics's XP9? I think it would be perfect.
Share February 02, 2013's comic on:
Computer: Based on your internet history, you might be dumb enough to enjoy extreme sports. Click here to buy a ticket to base jump from the International Space Station. Boss: I think the internet is trying to kill me. Dilbert: We call it "machine learning."