Sit At Computer Comic Strips - Page 64
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1000 Results for Sit At Computer
View 631 - 640 results for sit at computer comic strips. Discover the best "Sit At Computer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday January 18,
1997
Tags business like christianity, faithful and obidient, obtain bliss, afterlife, reincarnation model, higher level employment, bio degrade, become wd40, dinosuar
Transcript
Bob the Dinosaur and Dogbert sit on the couch. Dogbert says, "Businesses used to be like Christianity; if you were faithful and obedient, you could obtain bliss in the afterlife of retirement." Dogbert continues, "Now it's more of a reincarnation model. If the worker learns enough in his current job, he can progress to a higher level of employment elsewhere." Dogbert continues, "These analogies aren't working for you, are they, Bob?" Bob replies, "My hope is that one day I will biodegrade and become 'WD-40' oil."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday January 24,
1997
Tags alice, application, compliment, executive review commitee, must be approved, compliments are entitlement
Transcript
The Boss says, "I put you in for a compliment, Alice." The Boss continues, "It's not automatic. The application must be approved by the executive review committee." Three members of the executive review committee sit at a conference table. A woman says, "I don't think so." A man replies, "We don't want them to think compliments are an entitlement."
Saturday January 25,
1997
Tags employee survey, tabulated, under paid, management is incompetent, bizarre, unworldly response, travel alarm clock, company logo
Transcript
Alice, the Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The results of the employee survey have been tabulated." The Boss continues, "As always, employees say they are underpaid, blah, blah, blah, and management is incompetent." Alice asks, "And your bizarre, unworldly response will be?" The Boss replies, "Everyone gets a travel alarm clock with the company logo!"
Sunday January 26,
1997
Tags moms birthday, wants nothing, home entertainment theater, 50 inch screen, surround sound, satellite link, toaster oven
Transcript
Dilbert and his mother stand in the kitchen. Dilbert asks, "What do you want for your birthday this year, Mom?" Dilbert's mother replies, "Oh, nothing. I have everything I need." Dilbert says, "Oh, c'mon. There must be something you want." His mother replies, "Well, one thing, but it's silly." They sit in chairs. Dilbert says, "You just name it." His mom replies, "Okay." Dilbert's mother says, "I'd like a home entertainment theatre with a fifty-inch screen, 'Thx' Surround Sound and a 600 KBPS satellite link to the Net so I can view adult pictures during the commercials." Dilbert replies, "I was thinking more along the lines of a new toaster oven." Dilbert's mother says, "Oh, that's exciting. I'll put it next to my other one and watch them fight it out." Dilbert says, "There's a real dark side to the information age." Dilbert's mother says, "Oh, and about the gift of life I gave you; you're welcome."
Friday January 31,
1997
Tags asok the intern, installed calendar, software, schedule meetings easuer, cubicle justice, meeting until 3006, engineering
Transcript
Alice, Asok the Intern and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Asok says, "I installed calendar software on our network." Asok continues, "Now you can see everyone's schedule and easily set up meetings." Dilbert tells Alice, "I say we grab him and apply some cubicle justice." Alice points to the monitor and replies, "Good idea, but I'm in meetings until the year 3006."
Monday February 03,
1997
Tags every department, create web page, internal network, include enough info, security precaution
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Every department is required to create a Web page for our internal network." The Boss continues, "It should include enough information to be difficult to maintain, but not so much that it's useful." The Boss continues, "As a security precaution, we'll make it too dull and unorganized to read." Wally asks, "Is pornography in or out?"
Sunday February 09,
1997
Tags cafeteria, heimlich maneuver, insecure, job interview, low self esteem, pretend to choke, special kind of employee, work here, working unpaid overtime, overqualified
Transcript
The caption says, "Job interview." Wally sits across from the interviewer's desk. The man says, "We're looking for a special kind of employee, Wally." The man continues, "Specifically, we like people with low self-esteem." The man continues, "That way we can bully them into working unpaid overtime." The man asks, "Do you think you're insecure enough to work here?" Wally replies, "Let me put it this way." Wally says, "Sometimes I pretend to choke in the cafeteria . . ." Wally continues, "Then when someone performs the Heimlich maneuver on me I spin around suddenly . . ." Wally concludes, "Just to get a hug." Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit at a table eating lunch. Alice asks, "Did he really say you're over-qualified?" Wally pretends to choke on his food.
Tuesday February 18,
1997
Tags all grown up, intern, unanswerable, whiny, decison
Transcript
Asok, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. Asok says, "I'd like to start the meeting with a whiny, unanswerable question." Asok shouts, "Why can't anyone make a decision around here?!" Alice says, "That was good." Dilbert pats Asok on the back and sniff emotionally. He says, "My little intern is all grown up."
Thursday February 20,
1997
Tags bold commando, relocates pc, thwarting union rules, moving computer, police catch dilbert, jailtime
Transcript
Dilbert wears a black hooded suit and carries a PC. He thinks, "The bold commando stealthily relocates his PC at night, thus thwarting burdensome union rules." A security guard pulls a gun on Dilbert and says, "Freeze, miscreant." Dilbert stands in a jail cell with two large men. He thinks, "I hope this works." One of the convicts says, "You don't look like Johnny Cash to me."
Friday February 21,
1997
Tags appliances, lewd condcut, plea bargain, plead guilty, stealing computer, mr coffee
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a conference table wearing handcuffs. Dogbert sits next to him. A lawyer says, "You're accused of stealing a computer. We'll reduce the charge to 'lewd conduct with appliances' if you'll plead guilty." Dilbert tells Dogbert, "That sounds fair. People will understand it's just a plea bargain." Wally enters the office kitchen and asks Dilbert, "Would you like a minute alone with 'Mr. Coffee'?"


