Freak Out Comic Strips - Page 64

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View 631 - 640 results for freak out comic strips. Discover the best "Freak Out" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags drive by management, whats hi sanme, out run, answer no questions, need for clarification, we're dead

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The Boss: It's time for some drive-by-management. Don't forget to do the thing for what hs name or else we're dead. must ...outrun cries for.... clarification.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags college, emplyee, first pay check, freak out, know about her, paid in cash, dedcutions, education

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Dilbert: do you want to watch when the new employee looks at her first paycheck? Wally: ooh-ya! Wally: what do we know about her? Dilbert: She's target out of college, all of her prior jobs paid her in cash. wally: perfect. dilbertL ear guards on. My first paycheck deductions???? Hmmm. how bad could it be? WAHT THE.... Next time no coffee. eh?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags blindfold, carbs, cublicle, heinous crime, put new guy, won't know blind fold, finance troll

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HECK were out of space boss. we've had a big upswing in people who use cell phone is bathrooms. Dang, Ive got a new guy coming in today, where will I put him? Maybe you could ask your brother,,, HMM... The boss: well, I suppose you could put hum in a cubicle. his crime wasn't that heinous, well, if you blind fold him, he won't know he's in a cubicle. so then I find pout its not okay to eat carbs.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags assistant for five years, questions boss, leadership, frustrated, bugging, wax ears

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Carol: Something's been bugging me. Carol: Ive been an executive assistant for five years. when do I get promoted to executive? Ive got leadership coming out of my ears! The boss: Thats wax.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags security guard, company owned assets, under clothes, smuggled out, pilferage

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whoa! whoa! where do you think you're going? you look bloated today as if you have company -owned assets under your clothes. I need to stop relying on my instincts.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags product development, two thirds, Features, reduce scope, change request, stacks of paper, mean, unethical, passive agressive

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Dilbert: Our budget won't cover all of the product development. We can only do two thirds of the features for that amount. The Boss: reduce the scope of the project by one third. Dilbert: Okay. The boss: but theoretically.... Dilbert: No...dear lord, no. The boss: Id I later give you a change request to add one feature could you do it for the same budget. Dilbert One? sure. DATA GOES IN : MANAGEMENT COMES OUT. One sure changes are free, Carol: where do I put the change requests?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags corrective lens, fall in urinal, calls 911, building, happened

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Wally: "To what project would I charge my time in the following situation?" "Let's say that a pair of corrective lenses falls in a urinal, and the owner freaks out and calls 911..." "It hasn't happened yet but I can feel it building up."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employee attitude survey, bigger bonuses, happy, money, lie, no lying, surveys, science, new couch

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The Boss: Our bonuses will depend on the results of the employee attitude survey. If we boost our morale rank, we'll get bigger bonuses. get it? all you have to do is say you're happy and you get money. wink wink wink Dilbert: you want us to lie? No-o-o-o! Heaven forbid, absolutely no lying, But if you did lie, Imagine the things you could buy with that money, I'll hand out the surveys and you can let your conscience guide you. Dilbert: Is "para dise too over the top? Wally: Im going to lie me up a new couch!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags evil director, himan resources, cheaper, employee wellness program, sick days, incentives, highly paid workers, more fun

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"Catbert: Evil director of human resources" "I can't decide what's cheaper..." "...An employee wellness program to reduce sick days or incentivizing the older, highly paid workers to die." "Maybe you could use math to figure it out." "When I said cheaper, I meant more fun."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lost id badge, security offcie, sneak, angel with bacon, looks around

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Dilbert: I lost my ID besiege. Security: Report to the security office and get a new one. Hold it where do you think you're going? Dilbert: To the security office? Security: No one is allowed past this desk with out an ID badge. Dilbert: Okay....how do I go to the security office if I can't go to the security office? Security: Good question. I guess you'll have to steal past me. Dilbert: Look over there! Its an angel and she's giving away free bacon! Security: well well It seems Ive found a worthy adversary.