Asok Comic Strips - Page 64

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964 Results for Asok

View 631 - 640 results for Asok comic strips. Discover the best "Asok" comics from Dilbert.com.

The Bad Analogy Guy

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The Bad Analogy Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meetings, office workers, sarcasm, war

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Man: This meeting reminds me of the sixth elbonian revolution. Therefore, logically, this meeting will end with bayonets. Asok: What's wrong with you? Man: Can I borrow your pen?

Dogbert Teaches Asok Tech Support

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Dogbert Teaches Asok Tech Support - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, train, tech support, problem, reboot, computer, problem solving, genius

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boss: dogbert, i need you to train asok to fill in for you on tech support. dogbert to asok: the goal of tech support is to convince the caller the problem is on their end. i do this by recommending increasingly difficult things for them to try. eventually they give up, watch and learn. dogbert on call: uh-huh... uh-huh... try rebooting your computer. now try it again while holding control -escape-space bar- delete for exactly 27.3 seconds. no luck? try looking at your computer's binary code to find any zeros and ones that are out of order. click dogbert: and he's gone. asok: genius!

Asok Meditates

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Asok Meditates  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coffee, psychology, sarcasm, business, meditation, think, work, co-worker, technology, enlightenment

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asok: have you ever tried meditating? wally: sounds like a lot of work. asok: it is the opposite of work. all you have to do is sit in one place and think of nothing in particular. wally: can i drink coffee at the same time. asok: that is not recommended. wally: in other words, meditating is what i already do, but without the advantage of coffee? asok: perhaps you have already achieved enlightenment. wally: feels that way to me.

Smartphones Spread Viruses

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Smartphones Spread Viruses - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone, hygiene, science, contagion, pandemic, smartphone, germs

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Boss: Scientists say our smartphones can spread the coronavirus. That's why I no longer answer the phone. You never know if the caller is infected. Asok: I don't think... Dilbert: Let it go.

Asok Analysis

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 Asok Analysis  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, decision, managers & supervisors, numbers, analysis, experience, liars, department

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boss: put some numbers on this decision so it looks a if we thought about it longer. asok: are you seriously telling me to do the analysis after the decision? boss: if you need help, talk to one of the experienced liars in the department.

Asok Is Overpaid

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Asok Is Overpaid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, project, technology, time, pay, argue, math, face mask, salary

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asok: i finished my project in half the projected time. boss: that means i'm paying you twice as much as you deserve. asok: i don't think it means that at all. boss: you look dumb arguing with math.

Asok Isolates Too Well

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Asok Isolates Too Well - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, socially isolating, society, shock, system, elbow bump, reverse, silliness, murderer

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wally: asok has been socially isolating too well. we need to ease him back into society with out shocking his system. dilbert: how about a reverse elbow bump? can you do that? asok in something similar to a yellow space suit: (yelling) murderer!

Asok Sighs Too Much

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Asok Sighs Too Much - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, relationships, relocate, sigh, innocent, metamorphosis, question, cubicle, intern

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alice: can you relocate asok's cubicle? he sighs to much, and it's bugging me. boss: he sighs because he is metamorphosing from an innocent intern into a disgruntled employee. boss to asok: how long is this gonna take? asok: sigh

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, managers & supervisors, learn from mistakes, make alits, wrong this year, coincidence, perfromance reviews, management legends, business

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The Boss says, "We can learn from our mistakes. Let's make a list of the things that each of you did wrong this year." Dilbert says, "It is just a coincidence that our annual performance reviews are due next week?" The Boss says, "It would have been the stuff of management legends." Catbert says, "Very nice try."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anxiety, confused, emails accounts, internet & world wide web, might snap, pin code, too many passwords, user names, chaos, crazy, lose it, mental, breakdown, overload, technological, psychology

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Dogbert's password recovery service. Ted: I have so many passwords and email accounts and user names that I don't know what goes to what. I'm lost. If you can't help me I think I might snap. Dogbert: No problem. What's your password recovery PIN code? Noise: SNAP!