Wally Comic Strips - Page 64
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1000 Results for Wally
View 631 - 640 results for Wally comic strips. Discover the best "Wally" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday May 24,
1996
Tags had a cat once, two hours, beef of cat, selfish
Transcript
Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit at the lunch table. Wally says, "I had a cat once . . ." Wally continues, "I petted that thing for two hours but I didn't feel any better." Dilbert says, "Petting is for the benefit of the cat, not your hand." Wally says, "They're so selfish."
Saturday May 25,
1996
Tags two percent annual, disppoint, compensated, drastic, low expectations, good sign, thinking
Transcript
Alice sits at a manager's desk and yells, "A two percent annual raise?!! Wowee!!" Alice continues, "Ha ha! You tried to disappoint me but I compensated by drastically lowering my expectations!" Wally and Dilbert peer in the door and see Alice dancing on a chair and shouting, "Weeee!!" Dilbert says, "Yeah, it MIGHT be a good sign, but I'm thinking not."
Friday May 31,
1996
Tags need input, end of day, drop request here, perpeytaul ignorance, touch stuff
Transcript
A man enters Wally's cubicle, hands him a document and says, "Wally, I need your input on this by the end of the day." Wally points to a stack of paper and says, "Please drop your request here, in 'Wally's Pile of Perpetual Ignorance.'" The man asks, "Can't I just give it to you?" Wally replies, "I don't like to touch that stuff with my hands."
Wednesday June 05,
1996
Tags pond scum, nice to know, lower staus, brochures, vendor, hurts
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally walk down the hall together. Dilbert says, "Although we are nothing but pond scum in this company . . ." Dilbert continues as they walk into a conference room, "It's nice to know we can still find someone of lower status to torment." Dilbert and Wally sit at a table with a vendor. Dilbert says, "You call these brochures? How can I even consider buying products from a 'ven-duh' such as you?" Wally reaches for the salesperson's ear and says, "Tell me if this hurts."
Thursday June 06,
1996
Tags tormenting the bvendor, bidding economic future, buying decsion, performance measures, vendor challenge, nice t hsirts
Transcript
Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table with a vendor. Wally says, "You must do our bidding, Vendor. We control your economic future." Dilbert says, "Of course, our buying decision will be based solely on quantifiable performance measurements." Dilbert stands at the end of the table holding a hoop. The salesperson is on his hands and knees on the table. Dilbert says, "Your competitor completed the 'Vendor Challenge Course' in 37 seconds." Wally adds, "And he gave us VERY nice t-shirts."
Thursday June 13,
1996
Tags artificial urgency, gibberish, god news, mission, objectives uncler, insane but happy
Transcript
The Boss, Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Wally says, "Our objectives are unclear and our mission statement is gibberish . . ." Wally continues, "But thanks to an artificial sense of urgency, I'm working harder than ever!" The Boss asks, "What's the good news you said you have?" Wally answers, "Apparently I'm insane. But I'm one of the happy kinds!"
Friday June 14,
1996
Tags company, compensate, healing begin, insane, working smarter, woefully understaffed, not working harder, business
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally walk down the hall together. Wally says, "This company makes perfect sense, now that I'm insane." Wally continues, "For example, it might seem as though we're woefully understaffed, but I can compensate by working smarter not harder." Wally walks into Dilbert's cubicle in his underwear with a box on his head and a monitor strapped to his chest. Wally says, "Hey, if I'm capable of working smarter, then why do I work HERE?" Dilbert thinks, "The healing has begun."
Monday June 17,
1996
Tags 100% complete, 50% done, action item, estimate
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. Wally says, "The status of my action item is 50% done." Wally continues, "Specifically, I finished the item part but not the action." The Boss asks, "Do you have an estimate for when the action will be done?" Wally answers, "Yes, and that estimate is 100% complete!"
Wednesday June 19,
1996
Tags idiot fell, twelve hours, chair safety training, do, not do
Transcript
The Boss says to Wally and Alice, "Some idiot stood on a chair and fell off." The Boss continues, "Now we all have to take twelve hours of chair safety training." Wally and Alice wince. During training Alice, Wally and the Boss watch a man standing on his head and spinning on a chair. The Boss whispers, "Is that a 'do' or a 'not do?'"
Saturday June 22,
1996
Tags employee suggestions, harmless, stupud, theorym, replace pencils
Transcript
Wally says to Dilbert, "The only employee suggestions that get accepted are the ones that are harmless and stupid." They sit down at a conference table and Wally continues, "I submitted some harmless and stupid ideas to test my theory." The Boss sits at his desk and reads a document that says, "Suggestion: Replace all #2 pencils with #4 pencils. The hard lead lasts longer yet costs the same." The Boss thinks, "That could work."

