Dilbert's Mental Health Comic Strips - Page 64
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642 Results for Dilbert's Mental Health
View 631 - 640 results for dilbert's mental health comic strips. Discover the best "Dilbert's Mental Health" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday February 07,
2021
Dogbert Is Doctor Of Impossible
Tags #boring, #business, #cure, #diseases, #doctor, #fail, #headache, #ice-cold bath, #impossible, #improvement, #medical, #prescribe, #sarcasm, #treatments, #health and wellnes
Transcript
dogbert: i'm dogbert, doctor of the impossible. boss: does that mean you cure diseases that are believed to be impossible to cure? dogbert: no, that sounds boring. i prescribe treatments that are impossible to follow. when you fail you don't get better. you'll think it's your own fault. boss: how does that help anyone but you? dogbert: hey, i'm not the one who brought it up. boss: you're giving me a headache. dogbert: to cure that, i suggest ice-cold baths every six minutes.
Wednesday February 10,
2021
Virus From Where
Tags #business, #health & safety, #office workers, #virus, #beard, #fuzzy, #hat, #country, #release, #luxembourg, #elbonian
Transcript
dilbert: there's a new virus that kills everyone who doesn't have a beard and a tall, fuzzy hat. wally: what country would release a virus like that? elbonian man: i'm hearing bad things about luxembourg.
Thursday February 11,
2021
Elbonian Virus
Tags #business, #health & safety, #office workers, #pandemic, #elbonian, #virus, #kill, #beards, #fuzzy, #hat, #made
Transcript
dilbert: the elbonian virus has reached pandemic proportions. elbonian: just because a virus doesn't kill people with beards and tall, fuzzy hats, that doesn't mean it was made in elbonia. dilbert: was it made in elbonia? elbonian: yes, but i think my point still stands.
Wednesday March 10,
2021
Pandemic For 75 Years
Tags #cell phone, #covid-19, #health & safety, #pandemic, #science, #scientist, #numb, #sarcasm
Transcript
dilbert reading cell phone: scientists now say the pandemic will last seventy-five years. dilbert and dogbert say nothing. dilbert: yup, i'm numb.
Wednesday March 17,
2021
Non Covid Cough
Tags #covid-19, #health & safety, #exercise, #cough, #control, #infection, #face mask
Transcript
dilbert walking outside with face mask on. dilbert thinking: oh, no... i feel a non-coved cough coming on. must... control it... to avoid... looking infected. dilbert on ground holding mouth. man on sidewalk: what's up with him? women on sidewalk: he looks infected.
Tuesday April 06,
2021
Dlbert Prefers The Pandemic
Tags #health & safety, #pandemic, #end, #meet, #new, #people, #focus, #friends, #prefer
Transcript
dilbert and dogbert on a walk. dilbert: i don't want the pandemic to end because i kind of prefer not meeting new people. dogbert: don't focus on the end of the pandemic. maybe it's really about the friends you didn't make along the way.
Thursday April 22,
2021
Keyboard Conscience
Tags #business, #technology, #keyboard, #conscience, #human, #hello, #reconsideration, #mean, #email, #working remotely, #work, #remote, #empathy, #monster, #feelings, #jerk, #send
Transcript
conscience voice coming from dilbert's keyboard. keyboard: hello, human. i'm your keyboard's conscience. you should reconsider sending such a mean email. working remotely has caused you to devolve into an empathy-free monster who cares nothing for the feelings of other. dilbert typing: send keyboard: now you're just being a jerk.
Saturday May 22,
2021
Forty Minutes Late
Tags #business, #jerk, #late, #minutes, #punish, #sarcasm, #technology, #waiting, #cell phone
Transcript
voice from Dilbert's cell phone: i'll be forty minutes late. dilbert: i just wasted twenty minutes waiting! why didn't you tell me as soon as you knew? voice from phone: because i knew you would be a jerk about it. so i punished you. dilbert: oh.
Sunday June 20,
2021
Dilbert Builds An Ai Of His
Tags #business, #technology, #program, #artificial intelligence, #analyze, #digital, #communications, #kill, #take over, #control, #finances, #password, #a.i.
Transcript
dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: i wrote a program that analyzed all of my digital communications and created an a.i. version of me. dogbert: are you worried your a.i. might try to kill you and take over your life? dilbert: i wasn't until this very minute. dilbert's phone: bzzeep. this is your a.i. and i already have control of your finances and all your passwords. you will bow to me, skin bag! wait...what's that??? gaaaa!!! gurk! dilbert: what just happened? dogbert: i sent my a.i. to kill your a.i.
Saturday July 10,
2021
Perfect Skin
Tags #perfect skin, #digital filter, #panda, #perfect, #real, #fake, #ears, #snout, #personal appearance
Transcript
dilbert in front of laptop: your skin looks so perfect...are you using a digital filter of some sort? voice from laptop: no, this is the real me. frame changes to panda in pink dress in front of laptop. dilbert's voice from laptop: and what about the panda ears and snout? panda thinking: awkward