Everybody Likes Project Comic Strips - Page 64

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738 Results for Everybody Likes Project

View 631 - 640 results for everybody likes project comic strips. Discover the best "Everybody Likes Project" comics from Dilbert.com.

Four Hour Meeting

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Four Hour Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 2015's comic on:


Tags #decision, #decisions, #meeting, #meetings, #productivity, #time, #time management, #business

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Boss: Yesterday, in our four-hour meeting, we agreed to postpone the vendor selection. Dilbert: No, we agreed to use our existing vendor. Asok: I thought we agreed to cancel the whole project. Dilbert: We might need some clarity on this. Boss: Four more hours should do it.

Not That Invested In Your Success

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Not That Invested In Your Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #communication, #excuse, #excuses

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Wally: I made no progress on your project because I was waiting to ask you some questions. Coworker: You could have emailed me. Or texted me. Or stopped by my desk. Wally: I"m not that invested in your success.

Ted Has A Bad Feeling

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Ted Has A Bad Feeling - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 2015's comic on:


Tags #fired, #firing, #prognostication, #predict, #psychic, #complaining, #complaint, #prophecy

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Ted: I have a bad feeling about the direction of my project. Boss: You complain too much. You're fired. Dilbert: So... now you believe you can predict the future. Ted: Magic is real.

Writing Code In Spare Time

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Writing Code In Spare Time - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2015's comic on:


Tags #start-up, #labor, #free, #money, #trick, #bully

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Boss: Maybe you can help write some code in your spare time for my side project. Dilbert: Are you using your power to bully me into working for your start-up for free? Boss: You can also invest in it. Dilbert: Not better!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2015's comic on:


Tags #logic, #reasoning, #managing, #managers, #leadership, #quality, #absurd

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Dilbert: You assigned a pack of idiots to my project team. Boss: We can't afford to hire good people. Dilbert: How am I supposed to create world-class products with a team of disruptive idiots? Boss: Try working extra hard. Dilbert: You want us to be more energetic about our bad decisions? Boss: You also have to put in the hours. Dilbert: Are you saying bad decisions, plus long hours, plus lots of enthusiasm, produces great engineering? Boss: Not if you stand around yacking about it all day.

Women Communicate Better

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Women Communicate Better - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 2015's comic on:


Tags #gender, #listening, #talking, #conversation, #communication, #roles

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Alice: your project failed because there were no women on the team. Women have better communication skills. Every study shows that. Are you listening? Dilbert: Outwardly, yes.

The Problem Is People

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The Problem Is People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2015's comic on:


Tags #failure, #human factor, #human error, #people, #misanthrope, #misanthropic, #teamwork

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Dilbert: I finished the post-mortem on our failed project. Boss: What was the problem. Dilbert: People. Boss: The wrong ones? Dilbert: Don't overthink it.

Engineer Touches Spreadsheet

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Engineer Touches Spreadsheet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2016's comic on:


Tags #numbers, #budget, #obliviousness, #approval, #disease, #contagious, #managers, #executives, #accuracy, #fantasy

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CEO: I approve this project based on your boss' spreadsheet calculations. His calculations must be accurate because an engineer handed them to me. Is that all you need? Dilbert: I need a hug, but I don't want to catch whatever caused all of this.

Charge All Hours To Projects

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Charge All Hours To Projects - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2016's comic on:


Tags #logic, #billing, #honesty, #fraud, #money, #time

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Boss: Make sure you charge 100 percent of your time to project codes. Dilbert: Are you asking us to fraudulently apply our miscellaneous hours to specific projects so we can overbill clients? Boss: It's not a crime if you pretend it was an accident. Dilbert: Did you learn that in "flaw" school?

Charging Client For Thinking

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Charging Client For Thinking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2016's comic on:


Tags #thinking, #engineers, #time, #worth, #meetings, #billing, #money, #cost

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Boss: The client says you billed them for all the time you spent thinking about their project. Dilbert: I'm an engineer. Thinking is what I do. Should I think less? Boss: Maybe you could meet with someone while you think. Dilbert: How's that working right now?