Not Working Hard Comic Strips - Page 64

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

681 Results for Not Working Hard

View 631 - 640 results for not working hard comic strips. Discover the best "Not Working Hard" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2017's comic on:


Tags #help, #group project, #dependability, #failure, #psychic, #prediction

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I need your feedback on my PowerPoint deck before Tuesday. Man: I'll do that on Monday night. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! It's a trap! You are notoriously undependable. The odds of you working on a Monday night are terrible. If I don't get your input on time, you will make a fool out of me in the meeting. I'll stay up all night Monday hoping to get your email. But that input will never come. I'll end up doing the presentation on no sleep. Then you will embarrass me during the presentation by pointing out the errors in my slides. Man: For a mind reader, you sure have a terrible life.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2017's comic on:


Tags #analogy, #hyperbole, #exaggeration

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Once we have all of the vendors' bids, we will pick the best one. Man: Oh, great, so you're saying we should be exactly like serial killers? Dilbert: Uh... what? Man: Serial killers also choose their victims. Can't you see the warning flags here? You're basically promoting murder. Dilbert: That is literally the most ridiculous and unhelpful analogy of all time. I doubt you could come up with a worse analogy, no matter how hard you tried. Man: Hitler said something like that before invading Poland. Boss: Good point.

Wally Waits For Information

Thank you for voting.
Wally Waits For Information - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #procrastination, #laziness, #work ethic, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Should I start working on my project now or wait until I have more information. Boss: When you put it that way, I guess you should wait. Dilbert: Isn't there always "more" information to be had? Wally: Don't ruin this for me.

Robot Will Crush Employees

Thank you for voting.
Robot Will Crush Employees  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2017's comic on:


Tags #robot, #boss, #manager, #threat, #artificial intelligence, #control, #power

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Thanks to advances in artificial intelligence, I am both a robot and your new boss. Work hard while I do nothing or I will crush each of your skulls with my mechanical arms. Dilbert: He's tough, but he's fair. Wally: And no micromanaging. I find it refreshing.

Barry Dingle

Thank you for voting.
Barry Dingle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 2017's comic on:


Tags #questioning, #correct, #incorrect, #explanation, #answer

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Sorry I'm late. Barry Dingle keeps hanging around my office and asking hard questions. Dilbert: You don't know the answer to any hard questions. Boss: That's why it takes so long. Dilbert: So... you just spout nonsense until he leaves? Boss: That's my go-to strategy for most situations.

Let's Do The Meeting Later

Thank you for voting.
Let's Do The Meeting Later - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2017's comic on:


Tags #fitbit, #health, #monitor, #wearable tech, #surveillance

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: According to your employee health monitor, your lack of sleep last night is hampering your mental functions. Let's end the meeting and try again when your brain is working better. Man: I don't understand. Dilbert: That is consistent with the data.

Directionally Accurate

Thank you for voting.
Directionally Accurate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2018's comic on:


Tags #projections, #budget, #finance, #math, #excuse, #compliment, #accuracy, #education, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are you confident in your financial projections? Wally: They're directionally accurate. Boss: Your columns don't even add up. Wally: Why is it so hard for you to give a compliment?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2018's comic on:


Tags #memory, #demagoguery, #social media, #Opinion, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: You said you hated this idea last week, but now you say you like it. How do you explain your flip-flopping? Dilbert: I always liked the idea. Nothing changed. Man: Hahaha! Nice try! You're back-pedaling because I busted you. Dilbert: Here is my email trail from the first moment the idea came up. As you can plainly see, I have liked the idea from the start. Any questions? Boss: Why is it so hard for you to admit you were wrong?

Bad User Interface

Thank you for voting.
Bad User Interface - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2018's comic on:


Tags #user experience, #interface, #usability, #menu, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Customers are complaining because our user interface is confusing. For example, our menu choice for deleting a file is labeled "save file." Boss: That's why we have a help menu. Dilbert: Our help menu is labeled "reformat hard drive."

Stress Balls

Thank you for voting.
Stress Balls - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2018's comic on:


Tags #stress, #frustration, #stress ball

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: I bought stress balls for everyone in the office. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! This ball is too hard to squeeze! It's stressing me out! How is this going to decrease my stress? Catbert: You're thinking of anti-stress balls.