Retail Business Comic Strips - Page 64
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1000 Results for Retail Business
View 631 - 640 results for retail business comic strips. Discover the best "Retail Business" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday October 16,
2012
Tags business ethics, wages, saved company millions, no bonus, ceo plans, 500 million, acquisitions, go team, money
Transcript
Boss: Alice, your great work this year saved the company $10 million. But I can't give you a bonus because our CEO plans to write down $500 million for acquisitions gone bad. Go team!
Friday October 19,
2012
Tags business ethics, consumer protection, court ordered, good defense, internal emails, known to be dangerous
Transcript
Lawyer: The court ordered us to turn over all of our internal emails. Have you ever mentioned in email that our products are known to be dangerous but we don't care? CEO: I don't even know what products we make. Lawyer: That's a good defense. We might need that.
Saturday October 20,
2012
Tags business failures/bankruptcies, executives, wages, long tern survival, innovate ways, cannibalize, current prodcuts, lose a fortune, ceo's compensation, revenue dips, hovel, some ideas, money
Transcript
Dilbert: Our only hope for long-term survival is to innovate in ways that cannibalize our current products. The downside is that you'll lose a fortune in CEO compensation when our revenue dips in the short run. CEO: Thanks. I'll stop by your hovel later with some ideas for ruining your life, too.
Saturday October 27,
2012
Tags frustration, managers & supervisors, performance review, perfromance review, 9 months late, business
Transcript
Boss: I finished your performance review. Alice: Terrific. It's nine months late and all you did was sign what I wrote. Boss: I think I also read it, but I'm not 100% positive.
Monday October 29,
2012
Tags director of change, employees, management, managers & supervisors, strategies, business
Transcript
Boss: We're hiring a director of change management to help employees embrace strategic changes. Dilbert: Or we could come up with strategies that make sense. Then employees would embrace change. Boss: That sounds harder.
Tuesday October 30,
2012
Tags controlling gaze, lazy, management experts, managers & supervisors, one on one meetings, regular does, theiveing, underlings, work ethic, toxic saboteur, business
Transcript
Boss: Management experts say bosses should have frequent one-on-one meeting with underlings. Apparently, you need regular doses of my controlling gaze to prevent you from evolving into a lazy, thieving, toxic saboteur. Carol: It's working great. So far I feel less lazy about doing the other things you mentioned.
Tuesday November 06,
2012
Tags business failures/bankruptcies, honesty, slide toward irrelevance, redesign logo, produce tablet computer, ugly truth, personified
Transcript
Man: There's nothing you can do about your company's long slide toward irrelevance. But if you redesign your logo and produce a tablet computer that no one buys, at least it will look like you're trying. CEO: Who are you? Man: I'm the ugly truth. Most people just ignore me.
Wednesday November 07,
2012
Tags ignorance (knowledge), managers & supervisors, employees, hatered, run over, clown, ugly truth, demise, bad wishes, business
Transcript
The Ugly Truth Visits Man: Your employees hate your carb-fattened guts. They hope you get run over by a clown car because it will make your demise extra funny. Boss: I hear mumbling but no on is there! Man: It's weird for me too.
Monday November 12,
2012
Tags employees, improvement plan, 90 day, individual honor, valuable service, polite, thanks, business
Transcript
Ted: Guess who made it onto the generic ninety-day improvement plan. I don't think of it as an individual honor. I think of it as doing a valuable service for the team. Dilbert: Should we thank him? Wally: Are we polite now?
Tuesday November 13,
2012
Tags managers & supervisors, work ethic, good leader, positive attitude, sultan, cublicle, positive, wishing harm, business
Transcript
Boss: A good leader has a positive attitude and spreads it by example. Today I lived like a sultan while you slaved away in your cubicle prison. I had a great day. Now it's your turn. Remember to be positive. Dilbert: I'm positive I want you to die.


