Right To Asylum Comic Strips - Page 64

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

653 Results for Right To Asylum

View 631 - 640 results for right to asylum comic strips. Discover the best "Right To Asylum" comics from Dilbert.com.

Finding A Scapegoat

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Finding A Scapegoat - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #project, #ceo, #scapegaot, #climate change

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: we'll need a scapegoat to blame for our failure on this project. dilbert: no one will believe it wasn't our fault. the boss: are you kidding? the boss: people will believe anything. the boss: we just have to be the first to frame the situation. dilbert: i suppose we could make our lie sound credible. the boss: that's overkill. dilbert: we don't need to sound credible? the boss: not even a little. the boss is in ceo's office. the boss: our project failed because of climate change. ceo: that sounds right.

Hallucinations At Meetings

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hallucinations At Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #server, #hallucinate, #network

View Transcript

Transcript

in conference room. dilbert: i recommend we upgrade one of our servers over the weekend. office workers: so, just to be clear, you want to replace our entire network in two days? dilbert: um...no. i want to replace one defective server. office worker: we can't replace our entire network in two days! that is ridiculous! dilbert: i don't know what is happening right now. dilbert: it's as if they things i say have no impact on what you hallucinate you are hearing. office worker: you think you can replace an entire network in two days, and you think i'm the one who is hallucinating? dilbert: i don't know what to do right now. office worker: your incompetence is confirmed.

Boss Needs Copies

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Needs Copies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #frustrated, #irritation, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need three copies of this. Carol: You just literally walked past the copier. Boss: Sheesh! Forget it! Just shred the stupid document. Carol: The shredder is right behind you.

Bad Hair Day

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bad Hair Day - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 2019's comic on:


Tags #angry, #boss, #employees, #employment, #hair, #hairstyles, #meetings, #threat, #warning

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Alice, why aren't you at this meeting? Alice: I'm having a bad hair day. Boss: That's no reason to miss a meeting! Alice: You don't understand. It's really, really bad. Boss: Come to the meeting right now, or you're fired! Gurk! Dilbert: That's bad hair. Alice: Can't say I didn't warn him.

Wally Writes Fiction

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Writes Fiction - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2019's comic on:


Tags #budget, #business, #managers & supervisors

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: i decided to try my hand at writing fiction. i like writing fiction because it doesn't require any research. i can literally make up a story out of nothing. i feel sorry for nonfiction writers. they have to get the facts right. but a fiction writer only has to use imagination. i can make any wild assumptions about the future that i want. boss: i asked you here to talk about your budget forecast. wally: that's what i was talking about.

Agreeing With The Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Agreeing With The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #climate change, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #office workers, #agree

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: As my new pet employee, your job is to agree with everything I say in meetings. Can you do that? Wally: Sure. How hard could it be? Boss: Climate change is caused by gravity. Wally: That's right!

Boss Recommends Blockchain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Recommends Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #computer software, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I don't understand why you are recommending blockchain for this application. Boss: My staff are the experts, but I can explain the basic idea. You see, using blockchain is like losing a necklace on the beach. Then a seagull finds the necklace and takes it back to it's nest. And we all like data security, don't we? CEO: It's almost as if you are proposing a plan you don't understand at any level. Boss: Well, yes, but keep in mind that you wouldn't understand it even if I could explain it. CEO: But you're sure someone on your staff understands it, right? Boss: Define "sure".

Company Pays Men More Than Women

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Company Pays Men More Than Women - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #men and women, #money, #relations between the sexes, #sex & gender, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: It has come to my attention that our company pays men more than women. I have been asked to correct that situation. Dilbert: You're going to cut the pay of the men, right? Boss: No, no, no. I'm only going to ask you to identify as a woman.

Garbage Man Breaks Fourth Wall

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Garbage Man Breaks Fourth Wall - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 2019's comic on:


Tags #psychology, #reality, #parody, #broken, #business, #garbage, #Comic, #indistinguishable

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: reality has become so absurd that it is indistinguishable from parody. how can we fix that? garbage man: there is nothing to fix. reality has always been the same as parody. you just didn't notice until now. dilbert: you're joking, right? garbage man: check out this comic strip called "dilbert"

Software Already Done

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Software Already Done - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #prototype, #resources, #software, #program, #miscommunication, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: what do you think? boss: this will never work. dilbert: this isn't a prototype. this is the finished software, and it's working. boss: i don't see how you can get this done in time. dilbert: it's already done. you are literally using it while we are talking. boss: we don't have the resources to program this. dilbert yelling: it's already done! you. are. using. it. right. now! boss: you'd better settle down, or you'll never get this finished.