Avoid Work Comic Strips - Page 65

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Avoid Work

View 641 - 650 results for avoid work comic strips. Discover the best "Avoid Work" comics from Dilbert.com.

Toxic Employee Covers All Bases

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Toxic Employee Covers All Bases - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employees, office workers, work

View Transcript

Transcript

dibert: hey, aren't you the new toxic employee? toxic employee: i told your boss you think he's a jerk for giving wally an award for work you did. dilbert: i never said that. toxic employee: i covered that base by telling him you're a liar.

Wally Adopts An Elbonian Baby

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Adopts An Elbonian Baby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags excuses, office workers, trick, work, adoption, morality

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I've decided to adopt a kid from Elbonia so I'll have better excuses for missing work. Dilbert: Your plan is immoral, uncaring, and socially irresponsible. Wally: And brilliant. Dilbert: No one is saying it won't work.

Wally Cares For Elbonian Baby

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Cares For Elbonian Baby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags babies, excuses, misunderstanding, office workers, Parenting, work, adoption, negligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: How's it working out with the Elbonian baby you adopted? Wally: Great! Now I have lots of excuses for missing work, and I still look like a saint. Carol: What kind of daycare are you using? Wally: I just sprinkle cheerios on the floor and lock the door.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags apple, criticism, employees, employment, managers & supervisors, steve jobs, work

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I've decided to be more like Steve Jobs. I want all of you to work day and night or else I will humiliate you in front of your peers. Dilbert: I quit. Alice: I quit. Boss: Would it work better if I wore a black shirt?

Scourge Of Teamwork

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Scourge Of Teamwork - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags help, insults, office workers, work, teams

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Do you need any help on your project? Dilbert: No, I try to avoid the scourge of teamwork when-ever possible. Man: Isn't there any way I can be of service? Dilbert: Maybe you could offer to help someone I hate.

Food Poisoning

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Food Poisoning  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, office, health, Food, poison, work, potluck

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: everyone who went to the potluck got food poisoning. i need you to do all their work while they are out sick. dilbert: were there leftovers? boss: there might be dilbert: can i have a plate?

Need To Retrain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Need To Retrain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, business, office, retrain, proposal, employees, risk, cost, work

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: your idea is dumb because we'd have to retrain people dilbert: are you waiting for a plan with no costs, no work, and no risk? boss: yes, why are you holding that one back?

Learning What Doesn't Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Learning What Doesn't Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, project, fail, failure, business

View Transcript

Transcript

wally in meeting: my project failed miserably, but i think we can agree we came out ahead. for example, we learned what does not work boss: you? wally: that's one way to look at it.

Feeling Loyal

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Feeling Loyal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags doctor, visit, healthy, pill, work, money, hard work

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: lately i've been feeling loyal to my company. and that makes me work extra hard for no extra money. do you have a pill to keep me from working so hard? doctor: they all do that if you take enough of them.

Not Fair

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Not Fair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, work from home, fairness, power

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i hear we are not allowed to work from home because it doesn't satisfy your sick need to wield power over us in person. boss: that's not fair. tina: is it accurate? boss: let's stick with "not fair."