Nose Job Comic Strips - Page 65
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991 Results for Nose Job
View 641 - 650 results for nose job comic strips. Discover the best "Nose Job" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday December 01,
2012
Tags biggest fault, cubilces, drawers, honesty, interviews, job interview
Transcript
Boss: What would you say is your biggest fault? Interviewee: I like to sneak into people's cubicles and go through their drawers. I also tell the truth. It's not a good combination.
Monday December 03,
2012
Tags interviews, managers & supervisors, exit imnterview, pointy haired loser, improve situation, business
Transcript
Boss: Why do you want to leave your current job? Interviewee: My boss is a pointy-haired loser, but he's smart enough to know when he's being insulted right to his face. I'm looking to improve on that situation. Boss: You came to the right place.
Tuesday December 11,
2012
Tags business ethics, mergers & acquisitions, redendancy, hard work, fired, card board boxes
Transcript
Boss: Ted, the merger has made your job redundant. As a reward for your years of hard work, feel free to use one of our cardboard boxes to get your junk out of here. Uh-oh. It looks like we forgot to hide the good boxes.
Sunday December 16,
2012
Tags employees, late, chronically late, pre meeting, trick, chronic lateness, power, selfish, bad attitude, business
Transcript
Dilbert: Let's meet before the project meeting to go over a few things. Coworker: Nice try. We chronically late people know when we're being played. Your pre-meeting is a trick to get me to show up on time for the real meeting. But that won't work because poor planning isn't the cause of my chronic lateness. I make people wait for me because I enjoy the power and I don't care about anyone's feelings. Dilbert: Fine. I'll see you at the project meeting at ten. Coworker: Nice try. I know the meeting is at 10:30. Dilbert: How do you keep a job? Coworker: That attitude is exactly why I don't like people.
Saturday December 29,
2012
Tags executives, managers & supervisors, reorganizing, overthinking, business
Transcript
CEO: I'm reorganizing the company and giving every manager a new job. Boss: Why? CEO: You're over-thinking it.
Friday January 04,
2013
Tags online (web) news, news manufaturer, online media, misleading headlines, snarky bow, news naturally, engineer, news magic, engineering
Transcript
Dogbert: I got a job as a news manufacturer for an online media company. I quote people out of context, add misleading headlines and tie it all up with a snarky bow. Dilbert: I thought the news occurred naturally. Dogbert: "Entineer Thinks News is Magic."
Sunday January 06,
2013
Tags complaining, team members, work, motivation, make waves
Transcript
Dilbert: I can't get one of my team members to do any work. I'm hoping you can talk to his boss. Boss: I don't want to make waves. Dilbert: It's your job to make waves! They pay you to make waves, you worthless pile of stupidity! Oops. Wally: I heard you made waves. How'd that work out? Dilbert: Surprisingly bad.
Sunday February 03,
2013
Tags anger, angry, hateful creature, hope, interviews, job interview, managers & supervisors, monster, optimisim, smile, toxic work place, business
Transcript
Boss: You remind me of another young person I hired years ago. She was full of hope and optimism and she wore a permanent smile. Her name was Alice. As time passed, she devolved into an angry, hateful creature. No one knows what caused it. Interviewee: How long did it take? Boss: About a week. Interviewee: Apparently, you're a monster who creates a toxic workplace and you lack the self-awareness to realize it! Boss: Someone broke your record. Alice: Shut up.
Friday February 01,
2013
Tags laziness, managers & supervisors, devote energy, projects, setting priorities, business
Transcript
Boss: And I need it by next week. Dilbert: I will devote 3.7% of my energy to it. I can give you more if you do your job of setting priorities for my 27 projects. Boss: Can't you set the priorities? Dilbert: Sure. This one just went to 1.7%.
Saturday February 23,
2013
Tags inventions, nuclear rocket, engineers, blast astroid, collsion, approved corporate font, launch window, moon
Transcript
Boss: Our engineers built a nuclear rocket to blast an incoming asteroid out of its collision course with Earth. But we didn't use the approved corporate font on the nose cone and we missed the launch window trying to erase it. Now what are we going to do with a nuclear rocket? CEO: Well, the moon has always been a jerk.

