Face Front Comic Strips - Page 65

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View 641 - 650 results for face front comic strips. Discover the best "Face Front" comics from Dilbert.com.

Reasonable Assumptions

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 Reasonable Assumptions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, plan, reasonable, unreasonable, assumptions, job, face mask, sarcasm

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dilbert wearing face mask: i ran the numbers, and your plan does not work under any reasonable set of assumptions. boss wearing face mask: have you tried "unreasonable assumptions?" dilbert: why would i do that? boss: well, to keep your job, for example.

False Modesty

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False Modesty  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, universities & colleges, education, harvard, false, modesty, major, face mask

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dilbert wearing face mask: what college did you go to? colleague wearing face mask: i'd rather not say. dilbert: the only people who answer that way are people who went to harvard. do they teach you false modesty? colleague: it was my major.

Manage With Data

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Manage With Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags analysis, business, data, face maks, leadership, manage, managers & supervisors, paralysis, technology, useable

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boss wearing face mask: we need to manage with data! dilbert wearing face mask: do we have any useful data? boss: not really. dilbert: so...actually we need to get data before we can use data. boss: we don't have time for your analysis paralysis! dilbert: i think you're taking both sides of the same argument. you insist on using data, but you don't want to wait for data. boss: it's called leadership. you wouldn't understand. dilbert: oh, i think i do. boss: stop being such a mask hole.

No Raise In Years

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No Raise In Years   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, job, raise, nine, years, face mask, employment

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office worker: i've been working here for nine years, and you haven't given me a single raise! boss: i didn't even know you worked for me. obviously, you didn't do anything useful, or i would have noticed. office worker: well, in that case, i'm glad i didn't give my name.

Deep Disrespect For Authority

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Deep Disrespect For Authority  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags interview, managers & supervisors, question, weakness, disrespect, authority, surprise

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boss wearing face mask: what would you say are your weaknesses? office worker: i have a deep disrespect for authority. boss: but...you don't act on it, right? office worker: let's not take the surprise out of it.

Bad Judge Of Character

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Bad Judge Of Character  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, bad, judge, character, hire, termite, clothes, disguise, youtube, makeup, video

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boss wearing face mask: i'm starting to think i'm a bad judge of character. the last three people i hired turned out to be termite colonies in clothes. dilbert in face mask: how did they disguise the face part? boss: they learned from youtube makeup videos.

We Have No Strategy

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We Have No Strategy  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, strategy, meeting, complain, cheap, jealous, wisdom

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boss wearing face mask: i hired a guy to complain at every meeting by saying, "we have no strategy."mi got him cheap because that's all he does. dilbert wearing face mask: some would say we don't need him. boss: maybe they're jealous of his wisdom. office worker thinking: no strategy

Sarcasm Works Better

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Sarcasm Works Better  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags argument, technology, business, production, productivity, sarcasm

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dogbert wearing face mask: i stopped using good arguments because sarcasm works better. dilbert wearing face mask: that doesn't sound like a productive thing to do. dogbert: oooh, look who's an expert on productivity now.

Dilbert Tells The Odds

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Dilbert Tells The Odds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, decision, estimate, managers & supervisors, miscommunication, odds, technology, wrong

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dilbert: i estimate odds at a 70% chance things go well, and a 30% chance we lose money on the deal. boss: if we lose money, will you admit you were wrong? dilbert: how could i be wrong? i'm just telling you the odds. boss: if we lose money, that's on you for recommending it. dilbert: um...no. i'm telling you the odds and letting you decide. boss: but you're the one saying this is such a great deal. dilbert upsetting and yelling forcing face mask off his face: i'm only telling you the odds, you pea-brained ignoramus!!! boss: so, you won't admit you were wrong? dilbert's face mask is over his eyes.

Boss Using Phone

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Boss Using Phone   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone, distraction, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, business, disrespect, hear, face mask

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dilbert: are you listening to me? it looks as if you are using your phone. boss: i can do two things at once. dilbert: i'll bet you can't even hear me, you ridiculous moron. boss: uh-huh uh-huh go on. dilbert: you smell like old socks, and your brain is made of cheese.