Dogbert Comic Strips - Page 65
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Character
1000 Results for Dogbert
View 641 - 650 results for dogbert comic strips. Discover the best "Dogbert" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday February 22,
2007
Tags favorable article, publish press release, write it, work, pay, bride, blackmail
Transcript
Tina: I hope you don't expect me to write a favorable article about your company just because you bought me drinks. Dogbert: No, I expect you to publish my press release and act like you wrote it. Tina: You can work or you can get drunk , but the pay is exactly the same.
Wednesday February 21,
2007
Tags free pubilcity, never been done, sir richard branson
Transcript
Dogbert does public relations "You can't get free publicity simply by doing something better." "You have to do something in a way that has never been done." "It's a Sir Richard Branson sort of thing. You wouldn't understand."
Tuesday February 20,
2007
Tags asthmatic dwarves, polygamous serial killers, reporter, slouch, wheeze, homicide, hen pecked
Transcript
Dogbert does public relations "Our products are made by asthmatic dwarves. You should do a story on that." "Not enough? Okay, what if the dwarves are also polygamous serial killers?" "When you talk to the reporter, try to slouch, wheeze, and act henpicked to the point of homicide."
Monday February 19,
2007
Tags free publicity, products are deadly, recalling everything, told the media, public relations
Transcript
The Boss:: I hired the Dogbert public relations firm to get us some free publicity. Dogbert: I've already told the media that your products are deadly and we're voluntarily recalling everything. The Boss: But...they aren't deadly. Dogbert: Hey, I don't tell you how to be fat. wally: snork
Sunday February 04,
2007
Tags assigning balme, eventual failure, wrong vendor, alienate the client, rendered mott, by noncompoops
Transcript
Dogbert: I'd like to kick off the project by assigning blame for its eventual failure. Dilbert: Shouldn't we do that after the project is over? Dogbert: I see no reason to wait. Dilbert: Well...okay. Our boss will make us use the wrong vendor. Wally won't do any work. Alice will alienate the client, and Ted is generally worthless. Dilbert: In summary, my excellent work will be rendered moot by nincompoops. Asok: Do you even work here? Dogbert: No, I was just in the neighborhood.
Tuesday January 30,
2007
Tags analyzed dna, most qualified applicant, willing to work, has three ears, snout, life expectancy of thursday, new guy
Transcript
Dogbert: I analyzed the DNA of all of your applicants to find the best fit for the job. The most qualified applicant who is willing to work for you has three ears, a snout, and a life expectancy of Thursday." The Boss: Dilbert, meet the new guy. And do it quickly." cough cough
Monday January 29,
2007
Tags on payroll, fool proof dna, identifying losers, dna doesn't match, too many losers
Transcript
Dogbert Consults Dogbert: Your problem is that you have too many losers on the payroll. Luckily I have developed a fool-proof DNA test for identifying losers. Well, I'm afraid your DNA doesn't match mine, loser.
Thursday January 18,
2007
Tags password recovery, morons, forgot password, nostrildogmas, messed password, psychic
Transcript
Dogbert's password recovery service for morons Ned: I done forgot my password. Dogbert: What's your name? Ned: My name is Ned, I think. Is your password 'Ned'? Ned: Sweet baby jeepers, you're like some sort of Nostrildogmas!" Dogbert: Here's a brochure for my cult.
Wednesday January 17,
2007
Tuesday January 16,
2007
Tags sugared donuts, online, every week, plain donuts, plain, ratbert, licks
Transcript
Dilbert: Every week I order sugared doughnuts online and every week they deliver plain doughnuts. Dogcart: Those aren't plain. Ratbert licks the sugar off of them when they arrive. Dilbert: I work in a cubicle. I can get used to this too.

