Job Interview Comic Strips - Page 65

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

993 Results for Job Interview

View 641 - 650 results for job interview comic strips. Discover the best "Job Interview" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags morons on parade, magazine, cover story, writer, interview

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'm a writer for 'Morons on Parade' magazine. Do you mind if I ask you some questions? The Boss: okay...but only if you promise to not make me look bad. Dogbert: cover story!!! Woo-Hoo!!! The boss: Really?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags send threatening emails, train new guy, easily downsize later, boss threatens alice, job security, male, female, training, alices bad advice

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Alice, I want you to train Ned to do everything you do." "Don't worry that it will make you redundant more easily downsizeable." Alice: "I like to start each day by sending threatening e-mail to the board of directors."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags concierge, hotel, slave, do naything, oo much, donate kidney, kiss up, over trained, give pay

View Transcript

Transcript

Concierge: "Welcome to the Metrogarden hotel! How may I make your stay incredible?" "I would be delighted to iron your socks, examine you for suspicious moles or take a second job and give you my pay." Dilbert: "I think they over-trained you." "I'm shaved and preped to donate a kidney."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags internet security, hole in inetrnet, work 24/7, network management, buck passer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I discovered a hole in our internet security." The Boss: "What?!!" "Good grief, man! How could you put a hole in our internet?" Dilbert: "I didn't PUT it there. I FOUND it... and it's not.." The boss: "It's your job to fix that hole. I want you to work 24-7!" "Actually, that's NOT my job. But I'll inform our network management group." THE BOSS: "PASSING THE BUCK!!! YOU'RE A BUCK PASSER!!!!" DILBERT: "Forget it! There's no hole! It got better!" THE BOSS: "That's more like it." THE BOSS: "I fixed the internet."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags career counseling, mad about downsized, involves punching, kicking, resume, alice, seeking job

View Transcript

Transcript

Career Counseling. Dogbert: "Apparently you're still mad about being downsized." "According to your resume, you're seeking a job that involves 'punching a short, stocky guy with pointy hair.'" "Is that the only job you'd consider?" Alice: "I also like kicking."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineers, jobs, want job your job, falling out of trees, dime a dozen, intimidation, job on line, idle threats

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: The woods are full of people who want your job. These days you can't shake a tree without three or four engineers falling out. Id love to stay and chat but I need to go motivate the other headcounts.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags manager of executive compensation, plan to steal, meeting, back slapping, pormises, raises, ponys, vacations, huge raise, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: "I'd like you to meet Bradley, our new manager of executive compensation." Boss: "Bradley's job is to recommend to our board how much to pay company executives such as me." "Bradley is totally objective." Bradley: "Totally." "That was a world-class observation, so I'll recommend that the company buy you a pony." "...A STRONG pony to carry the huge bags of cash I recommend for you." Boss: "Good work, Bradley. I'll recommend to the board that you get a huge raise!" Dilbert: "Gaaa!! Stop pretending to have reasons!! Just steal the stupid money!!!" Boss: "See what I have to deal with every day?" Bradley: "Would an extra month of vacation reduce the sting?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags evil director, cut costs, bottom of ocena, crushed by pressure, breathing issue, whiner, labeled a whiner

View Transcript

Transcript

"Catbert, evil H.R. director." "In order to cut costs, some of you will be relocated to the bottom of the ocean." "Wouldn't we be crushed by the pressure?" "Every job has some pressure." "And then there's the breathing issue." "I label you a whiner."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job applaicants, new batch, 500 qualified people, who wants job, pummel each applicat, very soft itmes, harder materials, sugar doughnut, their attitudes, upbeat

View Transcript

Transcript

CatBert: "The new batch of job applicants is more desperate than usual." "Excellent." The Boss: "Five hundred qualified people applied for this position." "Who wants this job the most?" "I plan to pummel each applicant with a variety of objects, beginning with very soft items." "Then I'll gradually move toward harder materials until only one person is left." "I'll begin with this soft sugar doughnut." "ZING. PIFF!" "Thank you." CAtBert: "How are theur attitudes?" "Refreshingly upbeat!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Wally, downsized candidate, alice glad, boss thanks wally, ride to church, on good side

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: "Wally, I'm glad we work in the same department." "Because your performance is so bad that you'll be downsized first." "You're like a buffer. As long as you're still here, my job is safe." "And there's nothing you can do to change the situation." The Boss: "Wally, do you mind giving my family a ride to church again this week?" Wally: "No problem." The Boss: "It's nice that you joined my church even though you live an hour away." "And I wouldn't say no to those tasty bagels you always bring for the ride." Alice: "GAAA!!!" The Boss: "Oh... I didn't see you sneak up on me, Heathen.. I mean Alice."