Rich People Comic Strips - Page 65

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags programmers, agile programming, methods, more work, fewer people

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We need three more programmers. "Use agile programming methods." "Agile programming doesn't just mean doing more work with fewer people." "Find me some words that DO mean that and ask again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 10 million dollars, company, four people, weather website, web monitoring, business

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"Alice, this year you did the work of four people and made over $10 million for the company." "But according to our web monitoring software, you used company resources to look at a weather web site." "Thief."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags underlings, anything useful, little people, deadly accident, vow, in office, listening to little people

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"Carol, don't let the underlings of my underling come into my office." "I can't learn anything useful by listening to the little people." "I renew my vow to lure you into a deadly accident!!" "Whoa! Whoa! Tell it to my underling."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness not realted, level of wealth, relative wealth, good job

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"Research has shown that happiness is not related to one's absolute level of wealth." "What matters is one's relative wealth compared to other people." "So, if I do a good job, could you cut this guy's pay?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags misleading, financial problems, shady innocent people, personal gain

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Our shareholders are suing us for misleading them about our financial problems. "Since when is it illegal to shaft innocent people for personal gain?" "Don't put that in the minutes." "I'll see what I can do."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags liberty, calculating, how eich, willing to date, happily married, four trillion dollars

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Carol: I took the liberty of calculating how rich you'd have to be... "Before I'd be willing to date you. The number is four trillion dollars." "You're happily married." "That's all factored in."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags no meetings, create work, canceled them, drop in

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"Carol, why don't I have any meetings today?" "Your meetings create work for me, so I canceled them." "Maybe I could drop in on some people." "Harpoon."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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We've narrowed our target market to this guy. "He's the only one rich enough and stupid enough to buy our high-end product." "Our diamond-encrusted time machine will take you one hour into the future in only sixty minutes!"

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"Wally, after I left the meeting yesterday, did you blame me for the failure of the project?" "I'm getting a bad vibe from people today. That sort of rumor could stain my reputation and ruin my entire future." "How dare you accuse me..." "Well, well. Look who's impeding Wally again."

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Do you have the list of invitees for the debriefing meeting? "Here." "I like to blame people who won't be in the room." "Bad news for you: You're not on the list."