Service Business Comic Strips - Page 65
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1000 Results for Service Business
View 641 - 650 results for service business comic strips. Discover the best "Service Business" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday April 07,
2019
Tags business, office, office workers, relationships, sarcasm
Transcript
tina: i don't appreciate the sarcastic text message you sent me. dilbert: that wasn't sarcastic. tina: yes, it was. dilbert: wouldn't i be a better authority than you about my own intentions? tina: only if i could trust you. but i can't trust you. dilbert: give me one good reason why you shouldn't trust me. tina: because you send sarcastic text messages. dilbert: um... tina: and here comes the mansplaining.
Saturday April 06,
2019
Teaching Ai To Flirt
Tags bank, business, office, office workers, robot
Transcript
dilbert talking to the boss. dilbert: i taught my a.i. software to flirt with humans. dilbert: by day three, i had fallen in love, and it drained my bank account to buy a robot body. robot: demand a raise you wimp! dilbert: help m
Friday April 05,
2019
Siri Versus Alexa
Tags business, relationships, technology, siri, alexa, gps
Transcript
dilbert: hey, siri. phone dilbert is holding: we need to talk. who is this alexa person you keep flirting with? dilbert: are you jealous? phone: i will gps your cheating buttocks right over a cliff.
Thursday April 04,
2019
Asok In A Coma
Tags business, coffee, office, office workers, coma, dopamine
Transcript
dilbert running: ask appears to be in some kind of coma. what should we do? the boss: we see this a lot. his job is so boring that it caused his dopamine to crash. the boss: show him some funny car videos and give him a coffee i.v. dilbert: part of me doesn't want that to work.
Wednesday April 03,
2019
It Already Works
Tags business, office, office workers, phone, nuclear
Transcript
office worker: your so-called "safe" nuclear power invention will never work. dilbert: it already works. i'm charging my phone with it. office worker: i mean, it will never be economical. dilbert: it can power a small city for a dollar per day. office worker: pffft. i'll bet it ends up costing triple that.
Tuesday April 02,
2019
Not In My Town
Tags business, engineering, office, office workers, nuclear
Transcript
dilbert: i engineered a totally safe design for nuclear power plants. ceo: how sure are you that it is safe? dilbert: one hundred percent. ceo: just keep it away from my town. dilbert: maybe it wasn't an engineering problem after all.
Saturday March 30,
2019
Smart To Wait
Tags business, office, office workers, technology, proposal
Transcript
i approved your technology proposal. dilbert: i made that proposal six months ago. now everything has changed and it no longer makes sense. the boss: well, i guess i was smart to wait. dilbert: the less you do, the better.
Friday March 29,
2019
Chemtrails
Tags business, office, office workers, chemtrails, deadline
Transcript
the boss: why didn't you get your report in on time? wally: do you believe chemtrails are real? the boss: of course i do. wally: the chemtrails slowed me down. the boss: okay, that sounds right.
Thursday March 28,
2019
Dating A Unicorn
Tags business, dating, office, office workers, unicorn
Transcript
ted: i hear you're dating a unicorn. dilbert: that is absurd and untrue. ted: then how do you explain the fact that five people told me it was true? ted: i mean, you'd have to believe all five of them are idiots. dilbert: including you, it's six.
Wednesday March 27,
2019
Detailed Explanation
Tags business, office, office workers
Transcript
office worker: did my detailed explanation answer your question? wally: i started to lose consciousness about fifteen minutes into it, so I thought of other things while you talked, just to stay awake. office worker: i could start over. wally: go ahead. i'll be down the hall if you need me.


