Come Around Comic Strips - Page 65
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658 Results for Come Around
View 641 - 650 results for come around comic strips. Discover the best "Come Around" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday November 22,
2019
Ceo Visits
Tags #managers & supervisors, #ceo, #office, #questions, #visit, #eyes, #dead, #business
Transcript
dilbert: our ceo will be visiting the office tomorrow, so act busy. and don't look directly at him because i don't want him to see how dead your eyes look. dilbert: can we ask him questions? boss: no, nothing good can come from that.
Sunday December 22,
2019
Wally Uses Deep Fake
Tags #video, #conference, #call, #technology, #elbonian, #affordable
Transcript
dilbert: i liked what you said on the video conference call yesterday. i've never seen you so engaged and helpful. wally: that wasn't me. that was "deep fake wally." i created him to do all of my video calls. and i hired an elbonian to do all my coding jobs for a very affordable price. wally: these days. i only come to the office for the free coffee. dilbert: and the camaraderie? wally: sure.
Sunday January 19,
2020
Master Engineer
Tags #managers & supervisors, #Promotion, #master, #senior, #engineer, #more, #pay, #platinum, #optimism
Transcript
boss: i'm promoting you to the position of "master engineer." dilbert: i'm already senior engineer. boss: now you're a master engineer. with all the rights and responsibilities that come with it. dilbert: such as...? boss: well, for example, you can do more kinds of work. dilbert: for more pay? boss: no. no. no! you're thinking of "platinum level" engineers. you're not on of those. dilbert: that comes next?! boss: optimism is not an attractive quality.
Wednesday January 29,
2020
Bring Me Solutions
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #solutions, #problems, #worthless, #sarcasm, #example
Transcript
boss: i want you to bring me solutions, not problems! dilbert: that's a funny way to call yourself worthless. boss: i do plenty around here! boss: but in the interest of time, i will not list any examples.
Friday February 14,
2020
Bias For Action
Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #co-workers, #business, #meeting, #prototype, #bias
Transcript
Co-workers around meeting table. Ted: our pointy-haired boss told us to scrap our prototype and start over from scratch. dilbert: o was in that meeting and he said nothing like that. maybe we should verify what he wants. ted: or... we could have a bias for action!
Friday February 28,
2020
Purchasing Department
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #purchasing, #vendor, #market, #quote, #coffee
Transcript
Purchasing Manager Bob: you need there vendor quotes, or i can't approve it. dilbert: there are only two vendors in that market. bob: come back when something changes.
Tuesday April 14,
2020
Working On Vacation
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #work, #vacation, #scold, #enjoy, #behind, #train, #broken
Transcript
dilbert: do you mind if i come to work on my vacation days? i hate being scolded for being behind in my work more that i enjoy taking vacations. boss: it seems i have trained you well. dilbert: no, i'm just broken.
Friday May 01,
2020
Alice Borrows Stapler
Tags #business, #office supplies, #face mask, #borrow, #stapler, #paper clip, #coronavirus, #germs
Transcript
Alice wearing face mask: can I borrow your stapler? Dilbert wearing face mask: not with your bare hands. but i can wrap it in plastic and leave a hole for the staples to come out. Alice: maybe you can just lend me a paper clip. dilbert: i'll throw it to you.
Friday May 22,
2020
Virus Hellscape
Tags #boss, #diseases, #office workers, #virus, #pandemic
Transcript
Boss: Do you have ten munutes to come talk to me about the project timeline. Dilbert: Yes, but it isn't worth exposing myself to you virus-droplet hellscape. Boss: I'll just guess what you would have said. Dilbert: I think that's best.
Thursday June 18,
2020
Dogbert Teaches Safety
Tags #office workers, #safety, #training, #simple, #corporate
Transcript
Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's corporate safety training. Don't touch anything, don't move around, and don't talk to anyone, ever! Thanks for coming. Dilbert: That's the whole class? Dogbert: Don't blame me for being good at summarizing.