Fall Back Comic Strips - Page 65

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719 Results for Fall Back

View 641 - 650 results for fall back comic strips. Discover the best "Fall Back" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 2014's comic on:


Tags #illness, #stress, #culture of consulting fiorms, #flat linig, #false larm, #graphs

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Consultant: I haven't slept since October because the culture of consulting firms is anti-health. I'm flat-lining! False alarm. I'm back. Who wants to make some graphs?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 2014's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #mathematics, #work ethic, #work time, #donate, #1% work time, #charitable cause, #110% to job, #learn math, #asking employess, #business

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Boss: Our CEO has asked each of us to donate 1% of our work time to a charitable cause. Dilbert: Last week you told us to give 110% to our work. Does this mean we can back off to 109%? Boss: No, you should give 110% to everything you do. Dilbert: Maybe my charitable cause could be helping you learn math.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2014's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #poor mangement, #missed gaols, #360 review, #doing great, #menat to say, #back pedal

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Boss: You missed all of your goals. Dilbert: Because of poor management. I'll go into more detail when I do my 360-degree review of you. Boss: I meant to say you're doing great. Dilbert: That's what I meant to say too.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 2014's comic on:


Tags #apathy, #managers & supervisors, #buried alive, #burlap bag, #starving rats, #fix everything, #business

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Boss: So... how's your job going? Dilbert: It's like being buried alive in a burlap bag full of starving rats. Boss: And I'm back to not caring. Dilbert: How long will it take you to fix everything?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2014's comic on:


Tags #contracts, #lawyers, #porposal, #incomprehensible document, #complexity

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Boss: Your proposal with the three bullet points looks good to me. I'll ask my lawyers to turn it into an incomprehensible nine-page document that introduces complexity risks for... no... reason. Can I get back to you in the year 2018? Man: Stop making me cry!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2014's comic on:


Tags #employees, #learn from coworkers, #busy worers, #request, #no one helps, #learning, #business

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Boss: Asok, the best way to advance your career is by learning as much as you can from co-workers. Asok: Can you show me what you are doing? Alice: Come back in ten years when I'm not busy. Asok: No one will help me learn anything. Boss: You learned that!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 2014's comic on:


Tags #emotional manipulation, #executives, #financial gain, #leader, #leaders, #less unlikable, #lonely job, #manipulation, #obliviousness, #popularity

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CEO: Being a leader is a lonely job. Dilbert: Try being less of a #!@*. Then people might want to spend time with you. CEO: I don't see how that could work. Dilbert: Can we get back to manipulating my emotions for financial gain?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2014's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #frankness, #goals, #honesty, #managers, #root cause, #bad parenting, #pointy headed boos, #underlings, #rapidly evolving nature, #talented employee, #boss life story

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Boss: You haven't achieved any of your goals for the year. What is up with that? Dilbert: Do you want an explanation that goes back to the root cause? Boss: Of course. Dilbert: The problem started years ago, when two idiots unwisely created a third smaller idiot. They compounded their mistake with bad parenting. The toddler ate candy and sniffed wet paint until he became a pointy-headed boss. The pointy-headed boss set goals for his underlings that ignored the rapidly evolving nature of the industry. Then he got angry at his most talented employee for giving an accurate answer to a question. Boss: I hate you. Dilbert: Nothing could halt the downward spiral.

Ceo Returns From The Afterlife

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Ceo Returns From The Afterlife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 2015's comic on:


Tags #afterlife, #angel, #ceos, #demon, #evil, #executives, #good, #good vs. evil, #returning from the dead

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CEO: I returned from the afterlife and I'm taking back my job as CEO. Dilbert: So... you're an angel? CEO: I set all of the thermostats to 140 degrees. Let's see how long it takes you to answer your own question.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2015's comic on:


Tags #flirting, #romance, #privacy, #stalking, #creepy, #creeper, #gestures, #gifts, #coworkers

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The New Employee. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. I bought you a book. Woman: Okay, weird. Who buys gifts for new co-workers? And how did you know this is my favorite author? Dilbert: I asked one of the network guys to check your browser history. Catbert assured me that employees have no right to privacy. I heard that women like it when men put thought into a gift. I hope you appreciate my romantic gesture. Wally: Did she make a romantic gesture back? Dilbert: I choose to interpret it that way.