Sit At Computer Comic Strips - Page 65

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Sit At Computer

View 641 - 650 results for sit at computer comic strips. Discover the best "Sit At Computer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lprodcut complet, ships tomorrow, additional features, marketing department, customers, want hardware, times like this, psycho path

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally, the Boss and another employee sit at a conference table. Dilbert holds a software box and says, "At long last our product is complete. It ships tomorrow." The other employee says, "That's terrific. I only have a few additional features to add and the marketing department will be happy." The Boss says, "Okay." The Boss continues, "I believe that our customers want hardware, not software." Wally says to Dilbert, "It's times like this I wish I were a psychopath." Dilbert asks, "You're not?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags department newsletter, high profile assignment, technical writer, intern and rodent, spats page, raise based, topless model

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Tina the Tech Writer, Asok the Intern and Ratbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I want you three to write the department newsletter. It's an important, high-profile assignment." Tina says, "I am an experienced technical writer. You have placed me on a project with an intern and a rodent." Tina continues, "MY next raise will depend on THEIR performance." Asok says, "I'll do the sports page!" Ratbert says, "I'll be the topless model on page two."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags department newsletter, experienced tech writer, intern, rat, respectively, skills, publisher taken

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina the Tech Writer, Asok the Intern and Ratbert sit at a conference table. Tina says, "Let's get one thing straight before we start writing the department newsletter . . ." Tina continues, "I'm an experienced technical writer. You are an intern and a rat, respectively. Therefore I will be the editor." Asok says, "I have no skills whatsoever. Therefore I'll be executive editor." Ratbert asks, "Is 'publisher' taken?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dying from boredowm, inetrview, department newsletter, background, project is good, engineer, moms fallopian tubes, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina the Tech Writer and Dilbert sit in Dilbert's cubicle. Tina says, "At the risk of dying from boredom, I must interview you for the department newsletter." Dilbert says, "Let me give you some background before I talk about my project . . ." Tina ignores Dilbert and writes, "'The project is good,' quipped the engineer." Dilbert continues, ". . . So there I am in my mom's Fallopian tube . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laptop computers, its to program, training program, rectangle plastic thing, boost sales, sales force

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "In an effort to boost sales, laptop computers have been given to every member of the sales force." Wally says, "That could be a problem, given the recent cuts to the training budget." The caption says, "Meanwhile, in the field." A salesperson holds up a laptop and says to a client, "And if you order today, I'll throw in this rectangular plastic thing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags valuable experince, rodent, vice president of marketing, simple marketing plan, good press

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. Ratbert says, "I had years of valuable experience as a rodent before I became vice president of marketing." Ratbert continues, "My marketing plan is simple. Each of you will cling to the leg of a technology columnist until we get some good press." Dilbert approaches a technology columnist and says, "It looks like you're full." The man has people clinging to both legs. He responds, "You can cling to the cat until a space opens."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags review board, fist of death, alice, wally no work, nostradamus, alice punches wally

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The executive review board meeting is canceled. I hope you didn't work too hard preparing for it." Alice clenches her teeth and thinks, "Must . . . control fist . . . of . . . death . . ." Wally says, "Unlike Alice, I saw it coming and did no work whatsoever." Alice punches Wally and his head collapses into his shirt. She asks, "Did you see THAT coming, Nostradamus?" Dilbert asks, "What does this do to headcount?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 40 % sick days, fridays, mondays, good one, kidding

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Asok the Intern sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "It has come to my attention that 40% of your sick days are on Fridays and Mondays. This is unacceptable." Asok throws his head back and shouts, "Ha ha ha!!! That's a good one!!!" Asok sees the serious look on the Boss's face. He turns to Dilbert and Wally and says, "Please tell me he was kidding." Wally says, "Welcome to hell, kid."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dances, dancing dogs, go wild, healed, healthy, invoice, poems, primal screams, tech me, total well being

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert, who is wearing a wizard's hat, stands on the desk in Alice's cubicle. Dogbert asks, "Have my poems and dances healed your soul yet, Alice? The company cares about your total well being." Alice says, "Excuse me." Alice leans over the cubicle wall and shouts at the Boss, "We want more MONEY, not more dancing dogs!!! M-O-N-E-Y!! The Boss and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "So you're saying those primal screams are healthy? Can you teach me to do it?" Dogbert says, "Here's my invoice - go wild."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags marketing plan, comments, obvious generalities, wishful thinking, business value, glamour career

View Transcript

Transcript

An employee from marketing, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The woman says, "And that's the marketing plan. Any comments?" Dilbert says, "It appears to be a bunch of obvious generalities and wishful thinking with no apparent business value." The woman thinks, "Marketing didn't turn out to be the glamour career I expected." Wally shows his copy of the plan to Dilbert and says, "I circled all the words you won't find in any dictionary."