Sort Phone Number Comic Strips - Page 65

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727 Results for Sort Phone Number

View 641 - 650 results for sort phone number comic strips. Discover the best "Sort Phone Number" comics from Dilbert.com.

Drones Attack Dilbert

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Drones Attack Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineer, engineers, drone, drones, government contract, contractor, retaliation, engineering

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G-Man 1: Oh-oh. The fugitive hacker Dilbert rolled down a hill and found a cell signal. G-Man 2: Relax. What can one engineer with a phone do against a superpower with armed drones? G-Man 1: Who do you think makes our drones???!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employee, Advice, health, wellness, money, cost, work ethic, fatigue, Family, marriage, support, insult, relationships

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Dilbert: The long hours of work are taking a toll on my body. Can I take some time off for my health? Boss; That would defeat the whole point of being an employee. You are supposed to be trading your health and happiness for money. Then you give that money to your family and watch them spend it while you eat yourself to death. It's a circle of life sort of thing. Dilbert: I'm not married. Boss: Loser.

Tina Can't Compete With Smartphone

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 Tina Can't Compete With Smartphone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, distraction, attention, technology, stimulation, frustration, smart phone, cell phone, social, socialization, etiquette & ethics, social skills

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Tina: I want to go to lunch. Dilbert: I don't see how that can work. Your conversation skills can't compete with the stimulation I can get from my smartphone and my smartwatch. Tina: I would scowl at you if I could get your attention. Dilbert: Ooh!

Solving Problems In Interviews

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Solving Problems In Interviews - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags interview, trick, thinking, problem

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Job Interview. Boss: Tell me your process for solving this sort of problem. Man: I would ignore it for a week and likely discover that it wasn't important in the first place. If it still matters after a week, I would hold fake job interviews and ask people how to solve it. Boss: Apparently, that doesn't work.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags character, behavior, role model, mentor, secret, psychology

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CEO: Character is how you act when no one is watching. Wally: Now you tell us? I thought you were my role model! Now I learn that you do all of your good stuff when no one is looking. It all makes sense now, because whenever I watch you do anything, it looks sort of dumb. But I'll take your word for it that you're awesome when no one is looking. Do you want to know what I do when no one is looking? CEO: I really, really do not. Wally: I call it character!

Tina Gost Writes About Success

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Tina Gost Writes About Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, humility, insult, humble, ghostwriter, biography, Advice, business

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Boss: Tina, a business publication asked me to write an article about success. I need you to ghostwrite it. Make me look wise, yet humble at the same time. Tina: "Hire employees that are smarter than you. In my case, that includes all adults, most children, and an alarming number of dolphins.

Boss's Charisma Inspires Wally

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Boss's Charisma Inspires Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, text, texting, distraction, shout, diversion, charm, excitement, cheer

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Boss: (types on his phone). Wally: Go team! Can you turn down your charisma? I can barely sit still over here.

Alice's List

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Alice's List - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags society, murder, violence, law, enemy, revenge, apocalypse

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Alice: Looks like I'll be adding this guy to my list. Dilbert: List? Alice: I keep a list of who to visit first when society breaks down and there is no rule of law. Dilbert: To build alliances? Alice: That's the sort of optimism that gets you killed in the first hour.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, fitbit, hackers, hacking, information, privacy, spying, surveillance, technology, relationships

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Hackers Convention. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. Woman: I know. I just hacked your phone, your credit card, and your fitness band. No need for conversation. I know everything about you, including your current physiological state. Dilbert: I feel violated. Woman: No, you don't. Your vital signs are elevated. That means you're falling in love with me. Dilbert: Ha! I just hacked your fitness band and I see you have... no interest in me whatsoever. It was too late to reject her first.

Catbert Will Not Help Children

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Catbert Will Not Help Children - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags reasoning, judgment, company policy, rules, regulations, rigid, stringent, inflexible

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Dilbert: Can you give me Carol's home address? I agreed to watch her kids and she turned off her phone for her date night. Catbert: It is against company policy for me to use my good judgment to save children. Dilbert: Are you sure it says that? Catbert: Yes. I wrote it myself.