Job Comic Strips - Page 66
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936 Results for Job
View 651 - 660 results for job comic strips. Discover the best "Job" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday September 18,
2012
Tags business ethics, interviews, career goals, 80 hours a week, below - market, compensation
Transcript
Job interview Interviewee: But enough about me. How can I help you achieve your career goals? Boss: You could work 80 hours a week for below-market compensation. Interviewee: I did not see that coming. Boss: Good. I need employees who can't see it coming. You're hired.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday October 05,
2012
Tags dieting & weight control, interviews, tattoos & body marking, job interview, face tattoo, overeating, bad idea, people can see, dont interview well
Transcript
Boss: Did you ever think that getting that face tattoo might be a bad career move? Interviewee: No. Was there ever a time you thought overeating was a bad idea? Because people can see that. Boss: You don't interview well. Job interview
Saturday November 03,
2012
Tags interviews, 10thousand hours, practice, expertise, resume, job interview, incompetent menace, interview practice, manager resposibility
Transcript
Boss: Studies show that it takes 10,000 hours of focused practice to become an expert at anything. According to your resume, you've only had enough database experience to be an incompetent menace. Interviewee: How many hours have you practiced doing interviews? Boss: I don't like where this is headed.
Sunday November 11,
2012
Tags meetings, work ethic, execution, innovation, full time job, excellence, inspired, died on inside, coffee and resentment, chemical formula for hatred, drilled employees
Transcript
Boss: Execution is a game of inches! You miss 100% of the shots you don't take! Innovation is everyone's full-time job! Be the dog, not the tail! Excellence is the only market that isn't crowded! Why don't any of you look inspired by my leadership? Wally: I died on the inside years ago. Now I'm just a fleshy container full of coffee and resentment. This guy was born without a soul. The she-devil at the end is the chemical formula for hatred. Catbert: Did you get through to them? Boss: I drilled until I hit bile.
Thursday November 15,
2012
Tags executives, new strategy, nimble, meeting, business plan, business
Transcript
CEO: Our new strategy is to be nimble. Dilbert: Is that the same as saying our strategy is to have no strategy? CEO: Just do your job. Dilbert: Can I be nimble instead?
Saturday December 01,
2012
Tags biggest fault, cubilces, drawers, honesty, interviews, job interview
Transcript
Boss: What would you say is your biggest fault? Interviewee: I like to sneak into people's cubicles and go through their drawers. I also tell the truth. It's not a good combination.
Monday December 03,
2012
Tags interviews, managers & supervisors, exit imnterview, pointy haired loser, improve situation, business
Transcript
Boss: Why do you want to leave your current job? Interviewee: My boss is a pointy-haired loser, but he's smart enough to know when he's being insulted right to his face. I'm looking to improve on that situation. Boss: You came to the right place.
Tuesday December 11,
2012
Tags business ethics, mergers & acquisitions, redendancy, hard work, fired, card board boxes
Transcript
Boss: Ted, the merger has made your job redundant. As a reward for your years of hard work, feel free to use one of our cardboard boxes to get your junk out of here. Uh-oh. It looks like we forgot to hide the good boxes.
Sunday December 16,
2012
Tags employees, late, chronically late, pre meeting, trick, chronic lateness, power, selfish, bad attitude, business
Transcript
Dilbert: Let's meet before the project meeting to go over a few things. Coworker: Nice try. We chronically late people know when we're being played. Your pre-meeting is a trick to get me to show up on time for the real meeting. But that won't work because poor planning isn't the cause of my chronic lateness. I make people wait for me because I enjoy the power and I don't care about anyone's feelings. Dilbert: Fine. I'll see you at the project meeting at ten. Coworker: Nice try. I know the meeting is at 10:30. Dilbert: How do you keep a job? Coworker: That attitude is exactly why I don't like people.
Monday December 17,
2012
Tags interviews, job hopper, more passive, stereo typing
Transcript
Boss: Your work history suggests that you might be a job-hopper. Interviewee: Oh, really? Well, I should hop all over you for saying that! Boss: I thought you would be more passive. Interviewee: Wow. You cannot stop stereotyping.

