Year End Review Comic Strips - Page 66

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View 651 - 660 results for year end review comic strips. Discover the best "Year End Review" comics from Dilbert.com.

Loser Dna

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Loser Dna  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #performance, #review, #dna, #lying, #test, #impossible

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catbird: from now on, your performance reviews will be based on your dna alone. your boss can't tell when you are lying about you accomplishments, but a simple test can tell me if you have loser dna. dilbert: i don't believe that is possible. catbird: that response is how i know you have it your test is done.

Still Get Paid

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Still Get Paid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #colleagues, #unreliable, #false, #true, #paid, #process, #believe, #sarcasm

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tina: i've been keeping a running list, and it seems that 100% of the things you told me this year have been false. wally: and we both got paid, so what's your point? tina: i...don't know how to process that. wally: i'd tell you, but apparently you wouldn't believe me.

Bad Qualities Cancel Out

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Bad Qualities Cancel Out - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #qualities, #character, #cancel, #micro-manage, #lazy, #backstabbing, #brave, #lie, #credibility, #believe, #employees, #success, #manager, #random, #sarcasm

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boss: all of my bad qualities see to be canceling each other out. for example, i want to micro-manage my staff, bi=ut i'm too lazy. and i want to do some corporate backstabbing, but i'm not that brave. i enjoy lying, and i'd like to do more of it, but my credibility is so low that no one believes me. i want to mock my employees for their mistakes, but i don't understand enough about what they do to know when they are doing it wrong. i want to take credit for the successes of my employees, but i don't give them enough support to succeed. carol: our set just called. he says he is naming you the manager of the year. boss: he must be deeply uninformed. carol: yes, but he's also lazy, so he pocked you randomly.

Blaming The Last Manager

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Blaming The Last Manager  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #wrong, #fault, #manager, #inherited, #problem, #excellent, #leadership

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boss: everything that went wrong this year was the fault of the prior manager. i inherited his problems. dilbert: but everything that went right was because of your excellent leadership? boss: no jumping ahead.

General Incompetence

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General Incompetence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #project, #success, #expectations, #destroy, #incompetent, #sarcasm

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dilbert: in summary, my project was successful beyond all expectations. Colleague: my relative lack of success this year makes me hate you and want to destroy you. dilbert: what's stopping you? colleague: general incompetence. same thing that killed all of my projects.

Worst Place To Work

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Worst Place To Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #barrel, #best, #business, #dead, #employees, #employment, #place, #publication, #squirrels, #technology, #trade, #work, #sarcasm

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boss in board room: a trade publication ranked us dead last on their list of "best places to work." the review says, "employees say working there is like eating a barrel of dead squirrels." boss: could have been worse. dilbert: only for the squirrels.

Pandemic Vacation Days

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Pandemic Vacation Days - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #company policy, #video conference, #vacation day, #vacation, #company rule, #pandemic, #go, #solve, #problem, #laptop

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boss and dilbert on video conference call. boss: human resources is on my back to make sure everyone uses their vacation days this year. it's a company rule. dilbert: what's the point of a vacation if we can't go anywhere because of the pandemic? boss: i'm only trying to solve my own problem here.

Tina Asks For Help

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Tina Asks For Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #co-workers, #colleague, #draft, #review, #busy, #yes, #time, #sarcastic, #sarcasm, #suspicious, #answer, #innocent

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tina: do you have a few minutes to review my first draft? dilbert: yes. tina: i ask because usually you say you're to busy to help. dilbert: well, i said yes this time. tina: that's funny, because usually you're all, "i'm so busy." but today you have all the time in the world. dilbert: today i'm not busy. tina: i find that suspicious. dilbert yelling: take yes for an answer!!! tina: that's not how innocent people talk.

Dogbert Is Selective

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Dogbert Is Selective - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #consultant, #crisis, #selective, #client, #jail, #Advice, #folksy, #wisdom

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title: dogbert the crisis consultant. dilbert and dogbert on a walk. dogbert: i'm very selective about my clients. that's because clients who take my advice usually end up in jail. so i only take clients i hate. dilbert: i like your folksy wisdom.

Cameras Can See You

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Cameras Can See You  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #technology, #hackers, #camera, #digital device, #skills, #detection, #performance, #review, #minutes, #laptop, #coffee

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boss and wally on video call. wally: did you know hackers can see you and hear you through the cameras on your digital devices? in fact, someone with my skills could do it in minutes and never be detected. boss: what are you trying to tell me? wally: it's just something to keep in mind when you do my performance review.