Business People Comic Strips - Page 66

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Think Of You As Family

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Think Of You As Family - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office, office workers, business, fired, boarding school

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team meeting in conference room. the boss: i think of all of you as family. dilbert: you fired ted yesterday. the boss: i also sent my son to boarding school. what's your point?

Never Ask About The Sigh

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Never Ask About The Sigh - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, relationships, serial killer

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carol, asok and dilbert at a conference table. carol: sigh carol: sigh asok: what's wrong? dilbert distressed: gaaaa!!! never ask about the sigh! dilbert: it's a trap to make you listen to a distressing story full of woe. carol: my husband is a hunter and he wants me to learn how to skin and cook his kills. asok: that doesn't sound so bad. dilbert: wait for it. carol: he's a serial killer. dilbert: and there it is.

Wally Slurps

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Wally Slurps - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, complaint, office, office workers, soup

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alice visually distressed and yelling: can you please stop slurping that soup? wally: wow. you complain when i clip my toe-nails, when i make lip-smacking sounds, when i use my speaker-phone, and even when i microwave fish. alice still yelling: doesn't that tell you some things?? wally: yes, it's impossible to please you. slurp.

Complaints About Wally

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Complaints About Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, complaint, office, office workers, productivity

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the boss: wally, i received 43 complaints that you have been clipping your toenails in the office. the boss: you have single-handedly destroyed all productivity on the floor. wally: in my defense, it takes two hands if you count the one holding the toe.

Using Git

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Using Git - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, code, developer

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the boss: i'm hearing that none of your code has been implemented. why are you so unproductive? dilbert: your new lead developer doesn't know how to use git and he keeps overwriting my patches. the boss: i don't know what any of that means. dilbert: well, thank you for stopping by.

Falling Off An Ergonomic Chair

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Falling Off An Ergonomic Chair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, ergonomic ball chair

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office worker: i fell off my ergonomic ball chair and broke my back. dilbert: i guess you'll be using a normal chair from now on. office worker yelling: i'm not a quitter! office worker on floor: maybe i'll give quitting a chance.

Old Time Chair

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Old Time Chair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, chair, office, office workers, ergonomics

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office worker: are you still using an old-time chair? office worker: i sit on a giant rubber ball because of all the ergonomics and stuff. office worker yelling: i'm better than you!!! dilbert: i wondered if there was a summary coming.

Potluck Celebration

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Potluck Celebration - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, potluck, friday, team, celebration

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the boss in meeting: i scheduled a potluck to celebrate the team's success. dilbert: a potluck is more like a penalty than a celebration. dilbert: but i guess it's better than working. the boss: it starts at 8 pm on friday.

Wally Plans His Retirement

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Wally Plans His Retirement - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, retirement, profit

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wally: the product i'm developing will be unprofitable for the first none years, but revenue will surge in the tenth. the boss: didn't you tell me you plan to retire in nine years? wally: maybe. the boss: you will be happily retired before we find out if profits really do surge in year ten. the boss: that makes everything you say sound suspicious. wally: numbers don't lie. the boss: who came up with the numbers? wally: that's all the time we have for questions.

Asok Tries To Fax

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Asok Tries To Fax - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, fax

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the boss: asok, i need you to fax this to the supplier. asok: i'll get right on it! asok to wally: what's a fax?